Purpose in Life

Life’s short. So have you led a fruitful life? I have led a busy life. I wonder if it’s really because of time management. I probably do not know how to lay my priorities right. Thus I am always rushing for things here and there. It’s also perhaps the reason why I am not successful in my life now.

I hope to be successful one day. What is successful to me? I really do hope to have a business of my own. I guess I probably can only achieve it via Facebook now… Opening up restaurants/parks/farms is just at the click of the mouse on FB. The real idea of business seems so far away. No capital, no fantastic idea no luck… I probably will be an employee for the rest of my life. Well, it is not bad to be an employee actually. There is no so much of responsibility within plus you can just quit if you really want to. Of course, the best is good pay and good boss. I would say till now, I am blessed with good bosses. I am really glad with it as I do not have the extra pressure or stress to deal with terrible bosses or cunning colleagues. My bosses have been nice and I do have colleagues as my good friends. However, I am always on the lookout for new job. Not that I keep changing my job; my current company is only my second company that I worked with only. My beginning was at a manufacturing company and I learnt quite a bit from my direct boss. He did teach me a lot of stuffs and I also learn a lot from other seniors from the ex-company. I am glad once again. If not for them, I probably wouldn’t have the chance to go overseas business trip alone and probably would not learn business skills as much. The experience is not that much but it was a good start.

Now with my current company, I felt a lack of recognition. I do my best as much I am given and I dare to say that I did what I was expected and perhaps more that that. I am truthful about that. However, there are limitations to where I can develop. In terms of money as well… the increment… oh well… Bosses have been fairly nice to me though sometimes I feel times of unfairness when lotsa of work are given to me and colleagues are walking here and there. I guess this is something I cant do much about it; I can only grumble and complain/whine to my friends/colleagues or my brother. So I really want to venture out in 2010. I need to. In order to meet the challenges and my dreams/ambitions; I need to move. If I am paid super duper well and just need to do brainless job, I am fine with it. Haha. But will there be such an opportunity? LOL or people just say get a rich man and married. Is there such a nice, rich guy around? ; If there is, my chance? It is just so hard to believe in that hope.

FB is so good for making connections. Establishing contacts with lost friends and colleagues. It is simply too good and too powerful. Found many of my friends via FB and so glad to be updated with their status through this powerful tool. It also affected me at times. Well, I am asking for it. LOL.

Saw many of my friends with a good career. Envy their life. Envy their money. Envy their luck. I feel happy for them. Seriously I swear. But many times I wish, I can be the same. Not only that,a lot of my friends are married and seems blessed. Of course, pictures can be deceiving but they do look happy. At times, I wish I can be like them. Of course, they would have their own problems and pain. And happiness really depends on individuals I guess. I think I really need to stop comparing. From the bottom of my heart, I feel happy for all my friends who are happy and blessed. And I wish I can be like of them. =)

Even including Xin. I have remove Xin from my FB and refuse to add him on fb as I do not wanna feel sad because of seeing him on fb. He has changed and leading a rather fruitful life from what I see. I feel happy for him though things have to go through this to change. Anyway, perhaps many things are destined to happen in this sense. He’s part of my life before. He affected me, gave me happiness/pain/dramas. But nevertheless, I chose it. LOL

Life is like a box of chocolates. You’ll never know what you gonna get.

Stalking - 2

@1646 .... they are back!

1 hour 8 mins ....

this is really office tais tais.....

Stalking

@ 1538 ......... the stalk begins .............

2 besties hand in hand starts their daily routine again .... will there be additional one who follows... i dun know....

the stalk begins....

I will be back....

Randomly Me - 2

i can hardly talk today.. caught a cold since last week and i am still coughing badly and loss of voice... well... it became worse when i couldnt stop myself frm munching the keropok's at jac's place... LOL

till now.. i cant stop myself from leaving chilli out of my meals... it's my necessity!

November is a month that I need to keep myself home .. my mum's birthday as usual causing me a big hole in the market. Plus Ting Jie Jie's wedding this month. And my another "god daughter"'s born ... Her parents ask me to be her Godmum le... haha... Went to visit my friend and goin to my God daughter's full month celebration .. Farewell for Jac ... SX bdae ... Sentosa trip .. i can hardly have time of my own ...

Caught the Christmas's carol though.. free ticket from ET's boss due to donations .. A ok show ... though i very much wanna watch My Sister's Keeper which i didnt manage to watch. Total disappointment! well...

I want my voice back.... I cant talk to anione.... yucks!

For Jac ... Good Luck to your new endeavors~~~ you will make it! Plus Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise also ... LOL .. Will Smith is not bad too~~~ hehe... Take care!

For myself ... I feel glad that i am quite happy most of the times this year...

My Rule to Love Myself is good. In order to learn to be happy, to appreciate others, i must love myself... i do love myself .. very much also.. haha ...

Friends out there... Life's short... Learn to appreciate things in life .. Little things can make wonders... And do not be too stubborn .. I am a live example ... i am stubborn by nature and i still do... and i wasted my youth on a lot of wrong choices in life... well... now is to catch up on things i missed out~

wohoo~~~

this is a very random post .... thoughts and events are not properly blogged ... hehe

*facebook addictive*DS addictive*PSP addictive these days*

Randomly Me

Have you try walking barefooted on the roads? Not on sand ok ?

Hee… because of the blisters I had due to the red heel that I wore. It was so painful that I took it off and walked on the roads. Haa! It was an experience…. Not a very good one… but I feel so carefree…. Haha

Have been watching movies almost every week… caught Love happens, Imagine that, Ugly Truth, The Proposal… perhaps will miss My Sister’s Keeper le … L

Anyway, I love going for movies and going ktv to sing. Though my voice not getting any better; and I keep singing old songs. I feel old… really …. Not as energetic as I think I could… Dance? Perhaps once in long long while …. And I doubt I can last more than an hour anymore… haha

I miss drinking on Friday nights… I miss mahjong with my cousins … I miss having high tea with my friends back in Uni time … I miss gossiping about colleagues … I miss shopping … I miss being my friend’s attire consultant … I miss the challenges at work…. I miss lotsa things…

But I enjoy my current life though… but it is rather stagnant… probably need something to boost it …

Perhaps “him” can do it … LOL

Just put that I am curious to know about him on FB … so many people have been asking me about it … well… just curious over him … I dun know why .. perhaps just chemistry? Didn’t think that there will be someone after Xin excluding my crushes at work…. It has been years … hmm… will it meant to be another drama? I dun know … but I am taking things really slowly …. Well… the stage of being friends is probably more important than further than that ….

Congrats to Mr Teng & family~~!!!! Beautiful Reika is born into this world. She’s gonna be a beautiful princess with lotsa love from her parents =)

Jiayou to me! I am gonna be happy… I dun wanna be in tears or hurt … Life can be sweet and simple if I want it to be …

~Slacking Monday~

Monday blues. Turn to blogging to get my day through. This blog is getting real mouldy.

Life has been the same.. seriously, my life is very routine ? It's either outings with my family, friends or colleagues. Nothing pretty exciting; just meals, movies, shopping. I have not know anyone new in my life. Or anyone that is of my interests though. hmm.. there is.. but somehow, J* was right. At his age of 36 and he still wants to focus on his career, something is probably quite wrong with him. Hmm.. this probably tells me i should have a career path before i reaches 30 also. Otherwise, something is probably wrong with me as well. And ... cross my fingers, hope to get a positive answer from Mr J.Lin soon. *grins*

I feel myself getting submerge in my pool of sorrows each day.. Please ... do not get myself drowned ... Just hope i would be saved soon. I will survive!

I just realize i love going for movies and eating popcorn. I didnt realise that. And I love sweet popcorn. hee. I love to watch movie and really not thinking of anything during the show. Just watching and enjoying it. Movies are just like encounters of human around. hee

And I have chopped off my hair. With a lighter head, hope everything is better for me ? I also suddenly really into liquid eyeliners and mascaras. haha. want to make my eyes look bigger than usual. well, they do. And they make me look like a malay. People have been mistaking me as a malay many times since. LOL

But i do have some unhappiness. i cant take statements from my closed ones. i know the words are meant to be jokes.. but i can be really upset when i hear them. i hope i can learn to take it.

*lunch now*

bye!

D.N.A ?

D.N.A ... means ... Mayday!

well ... haven been blogging for a couple of months.. life has been really sian and i losing my focus as usual .. couldnt bring myself to do anything other than slacking... shopping .. sleeping .. playing computer games ... etc .. but only one thing which i have been trying to work towards it; applying for job. oh well ... was really hoping to get in the marketing company that i went for interview.. somehow .. i didnt get it and terribly disappointed as it is not just an administrative job.. i feel i can do much better than administrative stuffs .. well due to lack of experience and confidence .. i failed again! oh well .. i need to get back on my feet again! starts again ~~~

and yes .. i watched Mayday concert this year again! last yr, i went to there 1st concert and fell so much in love with them. This year .. i cant miss them out .. and all the queues and money spent is worth worth it .. cuz ... i manage to touch Ashin!!! wohooo~~~ plus .. Monster and Stone ... haha! i am so so happy that day. I went to two of their concerts this year .. and not because i have too much money as many of my friends who claimed.. so tired to explain that i bought the Sat tickets very early .. and it was sort of accompanying my sis and cousin that i bought the Fri tickets as well... grew to be quite agitated when i need to explain that many times to different people... oh well... i know i need to use the money elsewhere .. well ... i mean i also finding excuse for myself .. haha.. but really .. if i have the choice.. i did... i probably just go for one day nia.. unless.... XXX LOL

with Mayday performing ... the D.N.A world tour ... i bought their merchandises.... haha..hell lot ... t-shirts, caps, CDs ... a total of almost 300 bucks! well .. gotta lie low for the next couple of weeks... furthermore .. a couple of wedding dinners coming up ... argh ....

so far .. life has been very much the same ... meeting up old friends, meeting them for dinner and catching up .. plus occasional movies, ktvs, shoppings.. and ya .. i very into Bodyshop recently... bought scrubs, lotions and etc etc .. i am damn hopeless...

but i have been thinking a couple of things that strike me though .. i realise i really do not have a mind of my own .. and thats pretty sad .. well ... i have to go ... update the sad part another time ...

bye~~

Awaking ?

Seriously I am not worried that I will be left on the shelf .. but I am surrounded by lots of pretty friends and all are single. Ok .. even if they may they not hold a really pretty face, they are pleasant looking and good girls… but they are single. As time goes by, hanging out as a group becomes a habit and the fear of being covered with webs starts crawling in.
But I am losing faith and trust. I also lose the confidence I used to have. I am straying myself away from guys… other than those guys that I know for years .. my social circle of guys has stop increasing. Yes… stop… I am surrounded by men… good caliber men… but they are … Married. This is not healthy and I can never and should never get myself involve with married men. Yes … I need to be reminded of that and exercise discipline.
But I am enjoying my life now though. I seriously think I spend more time with my family… and this is a good sign… I have this in one of my things to do list. Haha… But … I always appear a never-grow-up kid in my house. I am not … seriously I am old enough and mature enough to be careful outside. Well … I am never understood. That is sad … really hurts me so.
Back to the being single. Haa.. my friends have arrange activities more and keeping themselves busy. To expand social circle so as to meet new people, keep their minds off things, keeping fit. I guess I should do that too. I am not afraid … but I need to build up the confidence I use to have, need to keep fit and keep myself positive. Listening to too many sad real encounters, I am doubting every relationship around me. That is just so pessimistic. I need to be positive … so that I will be happy and wont feel so loss at times. I guess…
Maybe … I should really forget the past … not forget … never regret the past … or … not to let my past affect my future life?

梁静茹 - 找个人
词曲:刘沁 / 编曲。黄中岳
　　
找个人来爱我 我害怕孤独
　　这样枯坐到睡去
　　我感到很冷 感觉很累
　　找个人来爱我 让我永远坚强
　　我站在这里
　　停止奔跑 没有感觉
　　走在匆忙的城市 努力奋斗的日子
　　感觉自己并不属于这里
　　只属于你属于彼此
　　我要彻底的感受 你是真的在这里
　　得到一切如果失去你
　　我感觉到 只有脆弱
　　找个人来爱我

No Title

been so long since i last blog ... wonder who will be waiting to read my blog.. haha

anyway .. time has gone by so fast. it's already july! and i am still stuck here in my jap company .. still single .. still paying for alot of things.. still not much savings ... still busy at work, at home and everything....

do i lack of time management?

alot of things has been running through my mind .. and i do not know if i wanna blog it out... well...

i need my motivation in alot of things. i wonder what can i do. argh. terrible.

hmm...so wat has happen since i last blog...

birthday celebrations. my holiday to my hometown. bringing my friend around singapore. shelving my japan course again. oh well...

and yes.. i remove xiaoxin from my facebook! lol. it was a tough thing to me. seriously. i accidentally found out that he and his gf went holiday last year. got me kinda upset once again. seriously it doesnt matter but at times just feel sad why the person beside him is not me.. oh well... looking back... i seriously do not know how to handle my relationship. and i guess i did not try to help in our relationship. no experience at all. i just simply give in alot and turn deaf and blind to alot of things. in life... this is not going to be of help. neverthless. i happy now i hope. i dun need another 6 years to learn that he is over and out of my life.

now... just need to read newspapers more often .. have a change of environment again.

and .. i am starting to like to slack at home.. i love to be at home at alot of times.. hehe

i wanna save~~ i wanna go somewhere~~~ haha ... i wanna be clear of troubles... please... do not let my past haunt me again and again!

it's has been awhile ~~~

I am busy at work … yes … I am … sounds so not like me right? Yes … work has been busy … but I think it’s better for me … at least I wont think so much at work? Would I ? … life’s like a drama …

Anyway … I am uploading quite a few nice pics taken for the past month except the makeover one. I just realize I didn’t upload that … lol … aniwae … it’s not a really a makeover and it didn’t look that fantastic. Just show you guys … hehe …

Oh yes … most of the past events are associated with my colleagues I guess … I had received a golf ball from my idol … he endorsed it with his signature plus tiger woods… lol … well … little things that they do make me smile though …

Then followed by white day … March 14 … March 14 is as explained below …

Valentine's Day and White Day
Valentine's Day was introduced in Japan in 1936 by a Kobe, Japan based chocolate company, but was not widely celebrated until 1970's. In Japan, however, it is customary for women to give chocolates to men, and it is usually to men that they have no romantic attachments to. The majorirty are given to their bosses. In exchange, White Day was devised in the late 1970's to further increase department store and chocolate company sales. White Day is celebrated on March 14th and is the day that men return gift of white chocolate to those women that he received dark chocolate from on Valentine's Day. Most men neglect this, except for high positioned businessmen, and it is their wives that take on the responsibility of buying White Day gifts. White Day gifts are typically twice the amount of what the woman spent on her Valentine's Day gift and may even include personal items such as underwear. Since the underwear is purchased by the wife of the boss, it is not considered inappropriate.

And as you can see, I have receive some chocolates…though not from all my japs… but from those who did, I really appreciate their gesture and that make them very sweet … or is it me just very simple … easily satisfied? Regardless… I have not finished the chocolates … too much … lol ….

Then about 2 weeks ago, we had dinner and ktv session again … this time round, I must say … the dinner is rather different to that in the past already … it was really a chat and eat sessions and occasional playing around … I guess…all of us ages …. Not much strength to play … lesser pics but looks more bonded … I do enjoy my time with them and I am really glad that they are very nice to me … and I realize there is another one that I starting to admire … he’s been sweet as well. Though he did not do exceptional sweet things but I can feel … hard to explain …. Well … many idols … but … none can stay in my heart … and none can be the one that I would like to settke down with … haiz….

And yes … one of my khakis left … well … I shall miss my chatting sessions with him, smoking sessions, curry puff sessions, chicken wings session and lunching session … nevertheless … I wish him all the best ~~~ Mr P* baboodoo~~~~

And finally I went Café dEMar~~~ my angel knew I was upset and insisted to pull me to sentosa that day … well … just had a drink .. but I guess it’s quite a peaceful place….perhaps .. I will go again … maybe alone … if ever I feel down one day … dun be surprise to find me alone there! Haha …

One of the weekends, I went to msia did my hair treatment. And hair was pretty nice … thus became a cam whore that day … love the pics taken on that day especially the one on my msn pic … looks slimming… haha … well … just hope I can have that smile everyday~~~~

Getting to Know Myself Better???

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

*http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx*

PeRveRts LunChies SeSsion =p

as usual .. with a bunch of guys together .. they probably forget that i am not a male... serious .. but .. ok lah .. actually since schooldays, i am usual with mix of guys rather than gals... it's better .. so i can control my blushness... haha... otherwise .. i keep blushing ... yes... i still blush! lol

anyway ... the topics for e past few days super "high" for my group... e day before was on threesome. haha .. i told JJ* that i read with a lady writing to a magazine asking for advise. The lady was planning to celebrate their anniversary. And she was planning something real ... *XXX* she was thinking to arrange a threesome party for her bf ... i am like ... huh ... is she being serious ? hmm .. i think i cant accept this idea ... i think the lady has gone nuts ... lol ... thus .. threesome was ytd ...

yes.. on monday ... off-shoulder or tube ... which is more sexier ... caught the topic on class 95. personally i felt that off-shoulder is much sexier .. tube .. unless .. the lady has super good figure .. otherwise off shoulder is good ... giving even room for sexiness and fantasy ... lol ... i sound like a man ...

today ... even more super "high" a sudden discussion between bikinis and bra ... why is it accepted if a woman walks along e road with bikini and not accepted if she walk in bras! lol .. well well... nothing's fair in this world ... aniwae .. i guess is the message bring across when you wear bikini or u wear bras...

haha .. and i asked .. prefer naked or with something ... lol ... tis guys prefer something on first ... totally naked will be off... haha ... men ... afterall ... their mindset super duper XXX ... Then i brought up my friend's story .. and stupid them ... teased me that i am the person in the story ...

there's a gal who fell in love with tis guy .. no matter what she do ... he doesnt accept her ... well..she's not exactly very pretty ... i do not her well enough... so i cant comment on her character .. but ... i know she really love that guy ... and one day ... she went up to his house ... with e mindset of seducing him ... and it failed despite she took off her clothes ... i think it is real sad for e girl ... but seriously ... surprisingly .. he rejected her ... and my khakis claims .. motive clear ... thus they would not wanna board the lorry ... men ... men...

well... i dun trust their statements... men afterall ... think they really cannot think w their small brain of theirs... they can be smart creatures ... but somehow .. i think most of them think and work with their *XXX . perhaps ... many men would jump and disagree ... but tis is my point of view...

well... at least e topic brought us all laughter .. can kill e bit of boredom at work ...

i wonder.... whats on tml ... LOL

Continous story of Xin-zai

had lunch with mum and sis the other day. as usual, the same old topic haunting me...

my eyes were really blind to e core when i was with demon. he is really a demon .. been haunting me even until today. my name is tarnish becuz of my relationship with him. well.. i got no one to blame other than myself. e choice was mine despite i didnt really love him so much. i tot it was a good move as i could move on my life rather than lingering in the old memories of xin. but i was wrong. xin still holds a place in my heart regardless.. that's crazy. demon was much older than me and more stable than me. he taught me some life aspects, but .. he's really too different from me. we hold different viewpoints. thus quarrels and quarrels. e number of quarrels seem uncountable. a stubborn taurus like me would quarrel to the end. even i am wrong...well... i guess he was never meant to be with me... i never really gave in. i could give him up. and it was totally so different from the end with xin.

i was holding back my tears when mum commented that xin and i were not fated to be. yes indeed. not fated. if nothing had happen ... what would have happen? would he change? would i change ? would we still be together? well.. no one predicts the future.

was at seletar dam yesterday. a quick dinner and we went seletar's dam in HX's car. it was a good place to pour our secrets to each other. the wind was chilling but i enjoyed my catching up with her. i feel absolutely happier and with a more relaxed mind after.

yes ... and we talked once more ... about xin .. yes .... it's stupid .. it's foolish ... haa! i know ... and we sort of compared my treatment, my feelings between demon and xin. haa! totally different. seriously .. if i am with xin still, it would not be a good thing i guess. i will simply give in too much! despite his acts .. i can choose to forgive and forget ... but is he possible? i doubt so .. pride afterall can means so much to man... humans are also selfish creatures... they would choose to remember somethings and choose to forget some ...

well... in the end ... i smsed him belated birthday wishes. it's stupid. i remembered the day; yet i just refused to do anything and decided to wish him here... but .. in the end .. i still sms him ... LOL ... GILA! yes... Wee would say i am gila.. haha ... but he's too busy to know what have i been doing ... well...subsequently a few sms followed and ended abruptly... i do not know why .. but .. nvm .. .perhaps it's good afterall...

aniwae, i need to accept wat HX told me ... men like xin .. would probably never have thought that wat they do will give me wrong hopes. thus .. whatever he do till today or said or whatsoever .. i shall not think deeply more into that... though .. many times i fail ... just gotta rem and rem ... he's a passerby .. and it will never be the same again ..

Sometimes... i am glad ... Xin is a changed person now. he completed his studies ... his career looks prospective... his relationship seems stable... yes.. i stalked him both fb and friendster .. his life seems so much better and i feel happy for him... hx claims i am being very drama... i rally feel happy ... but ... i felt sad cuz .. in his happy life now .. i am not the person beside.. serious... oh well... like wat i told her ... for someone perhaps you really love .. you will just feel so tis way ..

yes... i am stupid enough .. i am gila enough ... i am stubborn enough ... i am sentimental enough ... i am irrational enough ... i am simple enough ... simple enough to be stupid enough...

*gone crazy once more*

HiDDen Wishes

lol~~~

It's Xin's birthday today ... I was still comtemplating whether to sms him or FB him birthday wishes.... well... i decide to keep my wishes here... since tis blog is not a known to him ....

well... just gotta stop contacting him for my stupid reasons... though i wish we can just be like friends... but i guess from past experiences and friends' experiences ... i guess it's better not to keep in contact with your ex-bfs unless BOTH parties have moved on ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Xin-Zai~~~

LOL ...

May All ya wishes come true~~

*god ... i am funny today*

P/S : I added S* on FB
P/S 2: K* wrote to M* about my jealousy for him forgeting about me when he is now enjoying in japan... hoho....
P/S 3: I gonna meet my hubby later ~~~ K20 ... i am coming....

*gone crazy~~~ *

just my thoughts ...

“eh…you know how old are you already”

*pause*

“huh.. you need to think how old are you? “

I have seriously forgotten about my age when my sister made the comment. Somehow or rather, age seems to be remaining at 24 or 25. Though, many times I am said to have the mindset of a 10yr old kid. God…I am really getting old le! Argh!

Recently Y* has been posing a lot of her pics on FB. She seems to be like a different person. And from her pics, she seems to be like giving people wrong perceptions. The change is drastic. Both white angel and me agreed. She was never like that when we knew her. I really wonder … if it is due to her age? She is in her early thirties. Single still. Initially she always want people to see her as a simple, pure lady which I beg to differ. Now … wild, out going style… drastic change. I feel that she wants attention but … isn’t this getting a lot more wrong attention? Sometimes I wonder if I think too much, perhaps her old working environment was too conservative and boring. Now, a change of environment in an ang moh culture which truly brings out her character. Perhaps? I hope that the change is due to change in environment and not age. I am worried that I would behave like her in a few more years time. I hope not!

I have been talking to JJ* on Msn quite a lot recently too. Well we seems to be able to click at e same frequency. To me, he seems a happy go lucky guy who doesn’t seems to have a lot of problem or stress and would take on anything that comes by. But a happy go lucky guy also has his problems. Haa. Well… I envy him (simple mindset) …. I envy his gf too. He seems to be a “gf boy”. Yes… I think he is… I am amazed with them also. They knew each other more than 2 decades ok! Well…perhaps that is really “meant to be for each other” after a big round, they got together. Hereby, I wish them happiness. They will be I guess. =)

Was on e phone for a while with D* ytd. I dun know if he’s still doing his own script writing. He claims that he and F* are still e same. Occasional quarrels and fights. If they are still together, I guess… they also meant for each other? So many things have happen and fights and all… love and hated each other. Yet … still together. Haha. Funny.

Finally met up w k* last week. Simple dinner and drinks along along clarke quay. Finally passed her e gifts… haha… they were in my drawer for so long. And we touched on the topic of r/s again we seems so much the same. Haha. She thinks that she has met the right one but too bad .... W* was the right one for her. But just fate that they have to end this. As for me, she also thinks that Xin was the only one that I could really love till date. Haha. I think so too actually. I guess he’s still e only one. Just sitting beside him, watching him, see his kiddish acts … just giving in…

Was still contemplating whether to ask him out to thrash things out. It’s funny. After several years still, I wanna thrash things out. F* telling right in the face that I have suffered so much and in the end I deserve such an ending. Not that I would want to be with him. I just feel that i need to let him know what have i done. alot of things done is not explained. hidden here and there... Why … why does women like me always chose to be quiet? Many knew that I have done a lot of him. Many also knew that we would never be together again. Yet … AT TIMES … I wish that we could be together again. But I know, it will be totally illogical and unacceptable. Well… just think wont die. LOL. K* still say if in the end we end up together, we are just like a fairytale with a sweet ending. Lol

F* Mei~~ if you are reading… dun worry… not that I still love him … just that I have not met anyone just yet… not that I do not want to move on … but somehow… the feeling is just still there… I am not waiting for him…

just another update~~~

It’s has been a while since I last blog…. Work has been getting busier … there’s still time for occasional surfing of the net … hehe… well, a lot of project has been loaded on me and I wonder why … the scope’s the same… well… recession has affected world wide… it’s bad timing for a switch of career. Well, it’s not really bad working here … but …. Oh well…. My wish still holds …

Chinese New Year is gone with just a mere blink of the eye….LOL nothing much. A usual season to collect red packets and gambling. Plus continuous dinner! Really… I ate so much during this season. Good food. Satisfaction.

Then followed by Valentine’s day ? haha… I do not have a valentine though I hope I do have one ? LOL. Well I’m lucky still! A bunch of close friends to celebrate valentine’s with.

K* also plans to go HK in may and she ask me to go along… hmm… I really feel like going…. But … but …. Well… just keep my fingers crossed still… I do not know what would happen next….

突然好想你

突然好想你

#最怕空氣突然安靜 最怕朋友突然的關心
最怕回憶 突然翻滾絞痛著不平息
最怕突然 聽到你的消息

想念如果會有聲音 不願那是悲傷的哭泣
事到如今 終於讓自已屬於我自已
只剩眼淚 還騙不過自己

*突然好想你 你會在哪裡
過的快樂或委屈
突然好想你 突然鋒利的回憶突然模糊的眼睛

我們像一首最美麗的歌曲 變成兩部悲傷的電影
為什麽你 帶我走過最難忘的旅行
然後留下 最痛的紀念品
我們 那麽甜 那麽美 那麽相信那麽瘋 那麽熱烈的曾經為何我們 還是要奔曏各自的幸福和遺憾中老去

REPEAT *
#最怕此生 已經決心自己過沒有你
卻又突然 聽到你的 消息
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been packing my stuffs.. found a couple of things which made me thought of alot of things again!
cards, letters, diaries .. i shld have threw everything.. but ... i put them in a plastic bag, seconds after .. i put it back in my drawer... they are of some values.. grew up with me and gave me memories... regardless good or bad... i still keep!

anyway...suddenly rem the days when i am always on the phone with my XiaoGe ... haa.... even a small message could get me so excited then... well... saw alot silly things that i did for him and remembering little things including the dates i know him, met him etc.... that's puppy love? i guess... silly ... but just so funny ... still... glad that we are still friends!

then saw alot of cards, letters from ex-lovers and all... realise that i am really not a good gf after all... seems to bring them so much pain and horror, stress and all.... am i that bad? and seems that they have difficulty communicating to me including their feelings and thoughts.. or is it just a way from men to make women feel guilty after breakups? well... alittle of both ya?

the forever thing, the promise thing...do they ever rem ? and now the look of it make me sort of disgusted ... but why does it appear so sweet in the beginning..not a bit of doubts that time... that is call blinded by love... haa!

it pains me .. especially when i am running through the last serious letter from XiaoXin... i suddenly feel so small and the cause of everything and his plight today... i am that bad? and really such a horrible gF? i seriously think so ... no tears though... but... the hurts there...

well... 突然好想你... yes ... 突然鋒利的回憶突然模糊的眼睛...我們像一首最美麗的歌曲 變成兩部悲傷的電影...

.... 變成兩部悲傷的電影

it's Mayday AGAIN

I bought Mayday’s latest album. I went to queue for the exchange of the concert ticket as well. I was never so enthusiastic when I was 18 or 19. doing such thing is like during teens, am I too old for it ? nevertheless, mayday’s not to be missed. Especially ashin… I think I am getting too infatuated with him. A replacement for not falling in love with anyone? I dun know. But I really admire his talents, he write and make songs … of course he sings … and he always give me a feeling of humbleness. I do not know him in person, but I wish…

Mayday’s first ever outdoor concert on the 4th Jan 2009 was a big success. As usual, they brought everyone to jump and sing with them. Music blasting loudly, everyone was feeling super high including myself! And I cried. I cannot explained … their music just moved me … into little tears… many would have said that I have gone mad … but I am not … well… I am just not myself when I know I love him… haa! Furthermore, with looks and brains … double combo …

Yesterday they had another event again. I am disappointed … becuz of the renovations at home, I couldn’t make it to see them. Wee went and shook their hands, so close! I am really sad … just hope I will see them again. Of course … Ashin …

Counting Down of 2008 and moving to 2009!!

Countdown
I think this is the 1st time I ever really went to a countdown session with my friends. First, I do not really like crowds cuz they make me giddy… lol …. But chilling at a friend’s pub for new year’s eve is not a bad idea. So angel and her gang plus sec* gang met at the pub together. I guess I am a lousy coordinator… cuz I couldn’t make angel stayed throughout the whole countdown and these 2 groups did not really communicate at all. I am disappointed with this situation. It is supposed to be a happy event to look forward to 2009, but I guess some were bored … well… never again … I will never try to organize a friends knowing session again … tough job.

One glad thing … I saw R*, very cool and shuai qi… lol … am I falling for R*? scary huh ?


2009Resolution

Achieving what I have always wanted?
Well, my resolutions every year do not differ much.
The standard wishes and wants.
But I wish to add a few more things.
Spendthrift no more. Tough one… but I need to. Seriously. So friends, dun complain me being stingy ok! LOL
Well… nevertheless, 2009 will be a good year for me, myself … my family, my friends … to everyone I love, like and hate … I bless you.

BBQs SESSIONS!!!

BBQ on xmas eve was a nice idea. But we were not blessed with the instincts on predicting the weather. It rained since midnight and it did not really stop even at 8pm on that day. It was a disappointment. But luckily got some smart pple already planned to bbq indoors thus they prepare the disposable bbq sets. In the dark pavilion, spotting good spots for space, fighting for lights to see, struggling with the bbq of food. It was a nice night after all. Pics turn out not so dark. Simple gift exchange and I got almond chocolate biscuits … hmm… no linkage with xmas… well… and yes … I was talking to white angel I only notice a few men in the bbq. And she ask me if I am interested with one of them … LOL … haha … I dun know wat to say lor … it’s been so long … I wonder if I will be alright to be in a relationship again ?

As I brought home a lot of unfinished food on xmas eve, my dad decide to rent chalet for the next 2 days.we toured in his car and past by east coast. And to my surprise, they have a vacant chalet for us. A no plan cue, we stayed there for 2 days and yes … I had bbq for that 2 days… and … my dad’s friend also had bbq on the following day. He invited the whole family over… they had a wide variety of food … but I cant eat … looking at bbq food … I almost vomit…

It was a eventful week … I loved every bit of it …