hohohoho!!! 2010 is ending!!! how how how!!!! i am getting older!!!! hahahahaha
well, nothing exciting this year for me .. ever since started working, it's just work, family and friends... nothing much.. my work as usual not here not there.. for 2010, i have worked in 3 different companies.. Well, ended my 3 yr relationship with the japanese firm.. missed the colleagues there..they are really nice bunch of pple but prospects is not gd for me in the long run..then comes the FMCG company...alot of freedom, nearby, interesting work but decide to move becuz of unappreciative mgt plus scary notice period and lousy mgt... decides to move in 6mths time ... and now... 2 months in this Danish subsidiary company and still counting.. jobscope wise, nothing new plus new interesting things plus more tired than usual...so far colleagues are still gd as small coy. Boss is really smart but rather fierce and quick tempered.. still coping ... but is this the right kinda job that i wanna stay for the next 3 yrs... i hope... i lazy to change and think it is not a gd thing to keep changing ... just hope... i get what i deserve and i will perform the best that i can! haha
family.. i think i am spending more time with them. it is one of the things that i wanted. i hope i can keep it going.. however, really at times.. i need breathing space.. thats the part that i really hope they can get it ... or is it me that dun get them? nevertheless, i really love my family lots lots... but i miss the gd old times where i go malaysia for hols and play mahjong and chit chat with m cousins .. however, these days..pple get older..they start working and many of us drift apart.... this is kinda sad though... well.. but i am looking forward to chinese new yr! i wanna spend time with them plus my mahjong! haha
friends ... enjoy meetups, ktv, movies, chill out, dinners with them all. i can be very nice to my friends.. just dun betray me ... i get hurt... and hurts deeply ... sorry for alot of my friends who i cant meet often but i am always very excited to see them even once in a long while.... really appreciate the quality time shared... =) to many friends out there... thanks for being there when i needed help the most... you guys have help me in one way or another... really appreciate it .. ;)
Love .. hmm.. i am still single ... nobody chasing me and i am no kidding .. haha anyway ... to whom who have become part of my life then and no longer now .. you have brought me alot of pain and memories .. i am trying to rem only the gd things.. :) to the one whom i think i greatly love before ... i wish you happiness... and i hope you are wishing me that .. haha ... well, frankly speaking, its the age that worries me ... i would love to settle down despite to the many horrible experiences i know... but i also believe that many would have fairy tale ending .. there is the possibility of miracle... :) life goes on ...
i am still as crazy as i used to be ... as naive as i always have been ...but i think my temper has become worse, and as usual put on weight .. but more hiao than usual ... for the new yr ... i will work for the better!
i wish everyone happiness and good health ... =)
Love you dearly for those who reciprocates ...=)
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
my 1 month colleague ...
my kc colleague left the company.. well... we didnt expect her to stay for long but neither we did expect her to leave so immediately. but things were so bad even on the day she came to collect her cheque. my manager tried to ask her wats is pending and she just screamed at her saying that she's not being professional and stop wasting her time. She also keep claiming that there's no pending issues and everything she has done, the boss knows and pending issues we can refer to diary ... tell me what kinda answer is that ...
well... despite that she's leaving... she still make everyone unhappy ...
i felt relieved yet sad with her leaving the company. seriously, she has caused alot of unhappiness at work due to her attitude and behaviour.. but to be not likeable by so many people is quite saddening...
well nevertheless .. i just hope she finds a job that suits her...
and now ... with my new on board manager .. we are trying to save ourselves in the flood... well... i do kinda bit of stress .. but everyday after i realise i learnt something new, i am so happy ... simple things just make me glad...i hope my choice here is right.. i dun wanna keep changing ....
of course... money matters.... just hope the adjustment would make me smile more ... haha ;)
well... despite that she's leaving... she still make everyone unhappy ...
i felt relieved yet sad with her leaving the company. seriously, she has caused alot of unhappiness at work due to her attitude and behaviour.. but to be not likeable by so many people is quite saddening...
well nevertheless .. i just hope she finds a job that suits her...
and now ... with my new on board manager .. we are trying to save ourselves in the flood... well... i do kinda bit of stress .. but everyday after i realise i learnt something new, i am so happy ... simple things just make me glad...i hope my choice here is right.. i dun wanna keep changing ....
of course... money matters.... just hope the adjustment would make me smile more ... haha ;)
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Random
i am tired... physically.. due to shortage of manpower, alot of things i have to do manually. Plus the going on events at the end of the year... i am so so tired... well.. though i enjoy it ... i just felt so demoralised at times... plus a hard to work with colleague .. it just make things much more difficult for me .. and really need more motivation...
humans are simply very complexed .. though i find myself able to understand and guess whats on pple's mind, i have difficulty knowing my family mindset... haha.. plus ... my closest friends minds.. these days.. i feel that humans are afterall selfish though i knew it long ago.. but the weird thing is .. humans are usually getting selfish as they know each other closer... i wonder why is it so...
and ... people are fixing me up with men here and there.. haha... and so far.. my friend very excited and think that her friend from China can be a good match for me in terms of height and character.. and i started to sms in chinese so often .. haha ... well... just let it be ...
anyway, i gotta pen off ... it's time to work... and gotta go vivo later again ...
P/S: gonna burn my holiday and weekends with work.. haiz ~~~
humans are simply very complexed .. though i find myself able to understand and guess whats on pple's mind, i have difficulty knowing my family mindset... haha.. plus ... my closest friends minds.. these days.. i feel that humans are afterall selfish though i knew it long ago.. but the weird thing is .. humans are usually getting selfish as they know each other closer... i wonder why is it so...
and ... people are fixing me up with men here and there.. haha... and so far.. my friend very excited and think that her friend from China can be a good match for me in terms of height and character.. and i started to sms in chinese so often .. haha ... well... just let it be ...
anyway, i gotta pen off ... it's time to work... and gotta go vivo later again ...
P/S: gonna burn my holiday and weekends with work.. haiz ~~~
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Work and work
these days i am no longer a vase in the office. I cant do more manicure nor can i wear nice dresses or even heels to work. With duties like office today, i cant be a vase that i used to be ...
it has been 2 weeks at my new office. Instead of dealing with cooking oil back then, this time round.. cookwares are what my coy is doing now... i am moving closer closer to dream of a eatery related business! hahahaha.. Probably, the next time i will deal with direct raw materials like vegetables, fruits or chicken or fish ... haha ...
Anyway, i was almost to submitting my resignation letter last week. After 2 hours of product training, i was left with my colleague to learn the ropes from her. No directions no other instructions, i was cursing then.. yet another coy that has hidden problems? The most senior one is the director herself who has been with the coy for abt 8 yrs. the next senior is warehouse uncle who joined the coy 1.5yrs ago.. my other colleagues worked less than half a yr. thats abt it ..and i tot fengshui wasnt too gd when one of my colleague fell sick on my first day and she was mc for a week. The 2nd day of my work, my another colleague was hospitalised.. further to the drama that came, my promoter called in to resign his work. His wife also called in to say that she is thinking of resignation too. i joked then "fengshui no gd .. prob i shld move too?"
on top of all these fengshui things, there are other factors. my KC spider colleague plus the fact that i gonna burn my time with work with events now and then. oh yes.. plus money. It is definitely not a highly paid job that i have took up, and i also didnt understand why i didnt ask for more when i sign the appointment letter. i must be dreaming. :( well i blamed it for my admiration of the director for that. haha.
anyway, i gave up the thoughts of it when my other colleague came back. i was really testg my tolearances when there were already lotsa frustrations coming from KC spider and really couldnt tolerate her constant rattling plus fav phrases. she just keep harping and harping non-stop. And i lost my cool and quarrel with her... i couldnt stand it.. i did regret abit but i glad i could handle it more professionally in a way that i just let her rattle all the way when we were in the cab and i told her 2 hours later that everything is due to communication problem and we must not do it again. haha .. i actually did that. just when i think i will be dragging myself to work frm then onwards, had a causual chat with my director and other colleagues that i realize the problem is not me, it's her. she has been giving pple problems; and i tot it is due to my childishness then. i was so glad and relieved. plus in fact my director didnt appear so scary as wat she claimed after i had a talk with her then.
i decided to stay to further add colours to my resume. however, it's really kinda lotsa hardwork at work. alot of hands on stuffs. hands on doesnt mean just gettg my hands dirty .. i had to do price tagging, count stocks, shrink wrapping and i sweat in my warehouse. it's really tiring. though it's really not totally my job, due to shortage of manpower, i have to help out. and my kc spider stayed in the aircon office continue to busy with her work.
after a long day at work, i reflected again. why am i always like not smooth in my career? i am kinda upset seriously. and my friends.. we never hang out more like we used to do .. i just feel so upset. i know positive things follow positive energy.. but at times.. my positive attitude just drains off... well ... just hope my director will appreciate my work... haha ... as wat i mention during interview, hope our minds think alike... she's a smart lady.. i wished i can be like her.. she's smart and i really feel that she's rather successful. An Ex SIA girl to a director now, plus she can do everything including warehouse stuffs despite her position. .. not many pple do that .. but i am shocked that we had the same mindset when she try to motivate me few days ago. "work hard for the company just like if it belongs to you. " i always think it that way as well...nevertheless.. i feel normal once more for now and will continue to stay on and fight .. just hope my career will blossom~~~ =)
gotta pen off now ... tired ...
P/S: thanks for bring a fan of my blogger puppy crush~~ i didnt think there will be anyone who would read my blog anymore.. anyway, it's a gd way to blog my feelings... no one can hear my whiney these days... everyone is busy with his or her life ... different goals, different purposes in life... i just gotta hang on myself to be strong! haha
P/S again: HURRAY!!! no event tis weekend ... can have a good rest~~ next week will be a tough one for me .... oh well ...
bye~~~
it has been 2 weeks at my new office. Instead of dealing with cooking oil back then, this time round.. cookwares are what my coy is doing now... i am moving closer closer to dream of a eatery related business! hahahaha.. Probably, the next time i will deal with direct raw materials like vegetables, fruits or chicken or fish ... haha ...
Anyway, i was almost to submitting my resignation letter last week. After 2 hours of product training, i was left with my colleague to learn the ropes from her. No directions no other instructions, i was cursing then.. yet another coy that has hidden problems? The most senior one is the director herself who has been with the coy for abt 8 yrs. the next senior is warehouse uncle who joined the coy 1.5yrs ago.. my other colleagues worked less than half a yr. thats abt it ..and i tot fengshui wasnt too gd when one of my colleague fell sick on my first day and she was mc for a week. The 2nd day of my work, my another colleague was hospitalised.. further to the drama that came, my promoter called in to resign his work. His wife also called in to say that she is thinking of resignation too. i joked then "fengshui no gd .. prob i shld move too?"
on top of all these fengshui things, there are other factors. my KC spider colleague plus the fact that i gonna burn my time with work with events now and then. oh yes.. plus money. It is definitely not a highly paid job that i have took up, and i also didnt understand why i didnt ask for more when i sign the appointment letter. i must be dreaming. :( well i blamed it for my admiration of the director for that. haha.
anyway, i gave up the thoughts of it when my other colleague came back. i was really testg my tolearances when there were already lotsa frustrations coming from KC spider and really couldnt tolerate her constant rattling plus fav phrases. she just keep harping and harping non-stop. And i lost my cool and quarrel with her... i couldnt stand it.. i did regret abit but i glad i could handle it more professionally in a way that i just let her rattle all the way when we were in the cab and i told her 2 hours later that everything is due to communication problem and we must not do it again. haha .. i actually did that. just when i think i will be dragging myself to work frm then onwards, had a causual chat with my director and other colleagues that i realize the problem is not me, it's her. she has been giving pple problems; and i tot it is due to my childishness then. i was so glad and relieved. plus in fact my director didnt appear so scary as wat she claimed after i had a talk with her then.
i decided to stay to further add colours to my resume. however, it's really kinda lotsa hardwork at work. alot of hands on stuffs. hands on doesnt mean just gettg my hands dirty .. i had to do price tagging, count stocks, shrink wrapping and i sweat in my warehouse. it's really tiring. though it's really not totally my job, due to shortage of manpower, i have to help out. and my kc spider stayed in the aircon office continue to busy with her work.
after a long day at work, i reflected again. why am i always like not smooth in my career? i am kinda upset seriously. and my friends.. we never hang out more like we used to do .. i just feel so upset. i know positive things follow positive energy.. but at times.. my positive attitude just drains off... well ... just hope my director will appreciate my work... haha ... as wat i mention during interview, hope our minds think alike... she's a smart lady.. i wished i can be like her.. she's smart and i really feel that she's rather successful. An Ex SIA girl to a director now, plus she can do everything including warehouse stuffs despite her position. .. not many pple do that .. but i am shocked that we had the same mindset when she try to motivate me few days ago. "work hard for the company just like if it belongs to you. " i always think it that way as well...nevertheless.. i feel normal once more for now and will continue to stay on and fight .. just hope my career will blossom~~~ =)
gotta pen off now ... tired ...
P/S: thanks for bring a fan of my blogger puppy crush~~ i didnt think there will be anyone who would read my blog anymore.. anyway, it's a gd way to blog my feelings... no one can hear my whiney these days... everyone is busy with his or her life ... different goals, different purposes in life... i just gotta hang on myself to be strong! haha
P/S again: HURRAY!!! no event tis weekend ... can have a good rest~~ next week will be a tough one for me .... oh well ...
bye~~~
Monday, October 11, 2010
Waddddddddddddddddda i wantttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
went for 2 massages last week... really felt that i needed more as my shoulders are still so tight and one of the therapist said that my frequent headache could be due to my tight shoulders which causes blockage of enough oxygen to my head thus leading to headache. she sounded convincing enough but massage is a expensive activity.. oh well..
had a wonderful monday as i went for massage with bestie as her bdae gift. had ktv early in the morning before we head for the massage then follow by heavy buffet. it has been so so so long since i go out so so so early to enjoy myself. how i wish i could have done more last week before i start work ..
but nevertheless.. had a simple italian dinner with the pretty babes, met my friend for a quick dessert session, then accompany one of my friend to do shopping for her bbq. time just goes by so fast when ya enjoying ...
also spend wonderful time at home with my siblings. as i spend most of my time outside working and with my friends,i loved my time spend with my xiao di and xiao mei. though they were busy preparing for exams, i love to be around them .. hehe ... tease them awhile and i get back to watch my tv and pc ... hereby i wish they get good results .. i knew my brother is giving himself alot of pressure hope he will relax abit ~~ oh ya .. also had a late night to the airport with dad and mum plus sis and Wee.. 4am .. we were at T3 ... we went for supper at 2 to Redhill for Yong Tau Foo .. it was too full and we ended at T3 to walk abt ... but at T3, we rest for another coffee break.... and we still claimed to be very full... haha ..
just started my first day at work today ... i think i am not very used to the envt and so kinda upset ... but i guess i will adapt soon and hopefully it will be a good one that i hope to be .. i dun wish to job hope that much ... i wanna establish my career soon .. too many friends are doing so so much better than me ... seriously, i felt so useless... i really felt happy for my friends who can do so much better than me but i do feel myself so useless...
but ... i will survive... gonna be successful ... dun want people to look down on me cuz i know that there are pple out there who does that ..
well.. i will prove them wrong ... for pple who truly cares for me ... i really thank you so much ... your presence matters.... i wanna thank my parents also for their upbringing ... many times i felt they do not understand me or really treat me as a kid .. but really .. i am too naive... haha .... hope i will be smarter soon....
gonna zzz... kinda tired..... emotionally and physically ...
night!
P/S: i jogged!!! haha hopefully i will continue to do that for more... though i hated jogging... haha
had a wonderful monday as i went for massage with bestie as her bdae gift. had ktv early in the morning before we head for the massage then follow by heavy buffet. it has been so so so long since i go out so so so early to enjoy myself. how i wish i could have done more last week before i start work ..
but nevertheless.. had a simple italian dinner with the pretty babes, met my friend for a quick dessert session, then accompany one of my friend to do shopping for her bbq. time just goes by so fast when ya enjoying ...
also spend wonderful time at home with my siblings. as i spend most of my time outside working and with my friends,i loved my time spend with my xiao di and xiao mei. though they were busy preparing for exams, i love to be around them .. hehe ... tease them awhile and i get back to watch my tv and pc ... hereby i wish they get good results .. i knew my brother is giving himself alot of pressure hope he will relax abit ~~ oh ya .. also had a late night to the airport with dad and mum plus sis and Wee.. 4am .. we were at T3 ... we went for supper at 2 to Redhill for Yong Tau Foo .. it was too full and we ended at T3 to walk abt ... but at T3, we rest for another coffee break.... and we still claimed to be very full... haha ..
just started my first day at work today ... i think i am not very used to the envt and so kinda upset ... but i guess i will adapt soon and hopefully it will be a good one that i hope to be .. i dun wish to job hope that much ... i wanna establish my career soon .. too many friends are doing so so much better than me ... seriously, i felt so useless... i really felt happy for my friends who can do so much better than me but i do feel myself so useless...
but ... i will survive... gonna be successful ... dun want people to look down on me cuz i know that there are pple out there who does that ..
well.. i will prove them wrong ... for pple who truly cares for me ... i really thank you so much ... your presence matters.... i wanna thank my parents also for their upbringing ... many times i felt they do not understand me or really treat me as a kid .. but really .. i am too naive... haha .... hope i will be smarter soon....
gonna zzz... kinda tired..... emotionally and physically ...
night!
P/S: i jogged!!! haha hopefully i will continue to do that for more... though i hated jogging... haha
Thursday, October 07, 2010
I am Blissed Enough
had dinner with the girls on tuesday night and heard that there's voluntary work done overseas. was amazed and got me interested and i spend time surfing time for voluntary in sg and overseas. in fact before, i already had the tot of doing voluntary work especially with kids and youths. i love kids and i felt i could do something especially for delinquents or orphans ; but so far only think and no action ...
today was browsing the net and saw many organizations worldwide having voluntary programs and then i realize that there is so much things that i could and able to do. but i never tot of it before. especially teaching in schools. i felt i could and it would be great sense of satisfaction. but seriously, saying is easy. doing is tough. usually the living conditions is not good and i dun know if i am able to take it. imagine before i even try .. there are alot of people who do not have a choice but to cope with such conditions .. i am really blissed ... and i should be grateful ..
looking at the kids living conditions, sad stories behind .. i cried... i cant help but wanted to do something immediate if i could .. but i think i am not ready for doing voluntary work overseas ... i think i cant ... to the volunteers ... i seriously salute to them .. guys out there ... u guys are good!
in life, there are really many many things to do .. yet there are many pple out there who do not know wat can they do. nowadays, many like myself feels so empty and aimless .. many people doing comparison, being jealous, find faults with pple, always feel bored at home .. feel down, dream big and and just hope they will achieve it .. wat is e essence of life ....
anyway ... i think for now i hope i will settle well for my new job starting next monday. once my work starts and if it's fine, i am going to apply for voluntary work in singapore. i need to start somewhere. i am also planning to get a child sponsorship for a child. this is a commitment and i hope i can do it well thus hopefully i will be financially independent enough to accommodate this plan of mine in future.
yes i wanna travel for my hols. and i hope at the same time i can participate in the international voluntary project at least once in 3 yrs.
yes ... it's a random planning ... but i hope i can do this. though i know many times i failed my planning .. i really wish this time round i will be successful.
i am blissed enough ... i am grateful for it .. and i shall try my best to at least make another 1 person to be blissed afterall.
today was browsing the net and saw many organizations worldwide having voluntary programs and then i realize that there is so much things that i could and able to do. but i never tot of it before. especially teaching in schools. i felt i could and it would be great sense of satisfaction. but seriously, saying is easy. doing is tough. usually the living conditions is not good and i dun know if i am able to take it. imagine before i even try .. there are alot of people who do not have a choice but to cope with such conditions .. i am really blissed ... and i should be grateful ..
looking at the kids living conditions, sad stories behind .. i cried... i cant help but wanted to do something immediate if i could .. but i think i am not ready for doing voluntary work overseas ... i think i cant ... to the volunteers ... i seriously salute to them .. guys out there ... u guys are good!
in life, there are really many many things to do .. yet there are many pple out there who do not know wat can they do. nowadays, many like myself feels so empty and aimless .. many people doing comparison, being jealous, find faults with pple, always feel bored at home .. feel down, dream big and and just hope they will achieve it .. wat is e essence of life ....
anyway ... i think for now i hope i will settle well for my new job starting next monday. once my work starts and if it's fine, i am going to apply for voluntary work in singapore. i need to start somewhere. i am also planning to get a child sponsorship for a child. this is a commitment and i hope i can do it well thus hopefully i will be financially independent enough to accommodate this plan of mine in future.
yes i wanna travel for my hols. and i hope at the same time i can participate in the international voluntary project at least once in 3 yrs.
yes ... it's a random planning ... but i hope i can do this. though i know many times i failed my planning .. i really wish this time round i will be successful.
i am blissed enough ... i am grateful for it .. and i shall try my best to at least make another 1 person to be blissed afterall.
Monday, September 27, 2010
the Feel to Yak ~~
lazy to go out .. just wanna slack on my bed.. listening to my fav station this time at night .. log in to facebook, log in to ebuddy.. browsing awhile on profiles of friends, reading people's blog .. and i decide to do abit of blogging ... haa!
i am counting down to last 3 days of working! wohoo! this is the first time i am looking so forward to leaving my job. Seriously, in my past 2 jobs, i have always felt depressed when I am counting down to the time i am leaving the coy. But here.. likewise ... well.. i have nice colleagues, in fact i like the kind of job i am given, i like the kind of experience i am getting, i like the kind of opportunity i am given but .. i cannot the kind of mgt style that this company is having. well, in fact to come to think of it, the mgt is not totally is at fault, but the pple they employed is one of the primary factor as well.. but i guess i am not in a good or right position to comment further. i am going to leave in good terms and what is going to leave with me are the fun, laughter my colleagues brought me, my experience and guidance at work .. :) it's gonna be a whole new start soon~~~ wohoo~~ cross my fingers that it's gonna be something great, something that will hold me there for a couple of years, lots of advancement, lots of big bucks! ~~
well .. have a good break before my work and already has activities lined up .. Bdae Celebration with Bestie White Angel ~~ gonna have a good K session follow by a good massage plus good dinner! hoho .. plus planning high tea with primary school buddy, plus my pampering session with Amore, manicure and pedicure ~~ plus ... lunch sessions with my ex-colleagues ... hmm.. plus my plan of jogging every morning .... plus finish my Sex and the City ... plus do a bit of reading on Marketing ... i am thinking of rebonding my hair as well... hmm.... well... wonder if my short break can cater for all~~ haha ..
in fact i wanted and hope to go for a holiday.. but being broke i decide to stay Singapore .. and i wanted to walk around or even lie on beaches of Sentosa or go to Pasir Ris theme Park or go for photo taking at the Zoo ... haha .. but most of my friends are working ... who can accompany me ... oh yes .. i wanna go for a good drinking session~~ really need to chill chill out ... haha ...
well ... went to catch F1 live on TV ... wasnt such a fan but decide to join in the fun with my frendz ... Fernando Alonso won the match! really amazed .. this is a game that needs loads of persevere, concentration and focus! 3 Cheers for Alonso!
oh well ... nothing's exciting already .. beena HDB tai tai for months le ... lolX ...
i guess i need some sparks man .. life's really getting boring and pessimistic ... lolx ...
feelings of loneliness occasionally sets in ... many times i feel myself not good for anyone ... many times i regretted .. many times i missed the person i shouldnt missed .. many times i think i am useless... many times i wished that i could turn back time .. many times i wished ... i just wish .. well ... it's really impossible to look back or go back but to have a better future~~ oh well ...
gonna pen off le ... see ya ~~
P/S : didnt talk to puppy crush for a long time already .. didnt see him online ... never return my sms ... wonder how is he ...
i am counting down to last 3 days of working! wohoo! this is the first time i am looking so forward to leaving my job. Seriously, in my past 2 jobs, i have always felt depressed when I am counting down to the time i am leaving the coy. But here.. likewise ... well.. i have nice colleagues, in fact i like the kind of job i am given, i like the kind of experience i am getting, i like the kind of opportunity i am given but .. i cannot the kind of mgt style that this company is having. well, in fact to come to think of it, the mgt is not totally is at fault, but the pple they employed is one of the primary factor as well.. but i guess i am not in a good or right position to comment further. i am going to leave in good terms and what is going to leave with me are the fun, laughter my colleagues brought me, my experience and guidance at work .. :) it's gonna be a whole new start soon~~~ wohoo~~ cross my fingers that it's gonna be something great, something that will hold me there for a couple of years, lots of advancement, lots of big bucks! ~~
well .. have a good break before my work and already has activities lined up .. Bdae Celebration with Bestie White Angel ~~ gonna have a good K session follow by a good massage plus good dinner! hoho .. plus planning high tea with primary school buddy, plus my pampering session with Amore, manicure and pedicure ~~ plus ... lunch sessions with my ex-colleagues ... hmm.. plus my plan of jogging every morning .... plus finish my Sex and the City ... plus do a bit of reading on Marketing ... i am thinking of rebonding my hair as well... hmm.... well... wonder if my short break can cater for all~~ haha ..
in fact i wanted and hope to go for a holiday.. but being broke i decide to stay Singapore .. and i wanted to walk around or even lie on beaches of Sentosa or go to Pasir Ris theme Park or go for photo taking at the Zoo ... haha .. but most of my friends are working ... who can accompany me ... oh yes .. i wanna go for a good drinking session~~ really need to chill chill out ... haha ...
well ... went to catch F1 live on TV ... wasnt such a fan but decide to join in the fun with my frendz ... Fernando Alonso won the match! really amazed .. this is a game that needs loads of persevere, concentration and focus! 3 Cheers for Alonso!
oh well ... nothing's exciting already .. beena HDB tai tai for months le ... lolX ...
i guess i need some sparks man .. life's really getting boring and pessimistic ... lolx ...
feelings of loneliness occasionally sets in ... many times i feel myself not good for anyone ... many times i regretted .. many times i missed the person i shouldnt missed .. many times i think i am useless... many times i wished that i could turn back time .. many times i wished ... i just wish .. well ... it's really impossible to look back or go back but to have a better future~~ oh well ...
gonna pen off le ... see ya ~~
P/S : didnt talk to puppy crush for a long time already .. didnt see him online ... never return my sms ... wonder how is he ...
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Quick Update~~
hi my friends!!!
It's me!!! i haven been blogging ... haha... well .. i rem the last time when i was acti vely blogging is when i was at NSEC Coy... Ever since i left, I haven been logging in and probably because i too tied up with my current job or perhaps .. life is just so boring that I do not have anything to update .. nothing interesting?
well.. i have left NSEC and now i am with this chinese coy... 7mths have past.. flown past ... however ... i decided to move again! haha ... well ... i have tende and my last day will be end month... I am so excited and perhaps very relieved ... well.. been hanging out for quite sometimes before i made such a decision...
work has been a good learning curve.. seriously.. i have learnt many stuffs and seriously going through a couple of process that is not within my jobscope. But i like to learn things and exposed to things which i do not know. I have always believe that to know ur stuffs well then; you are able to convince myself of knowing whats going on with your job.
then why am i leaving?!? well.. my initial plan was to stay here for a good 3-5 years period and then apply for a job at P & G ... but ... things doesnt seems to go my way ... i admit that my direct boss do give me a lot of room to learn and do stuffs.. but many times i wonder if it is because he simply do not care? or is he too occupied with exports that he hardly bother what is happening to the local markets... well.. i really dun know... initially i already told myself .. if my brand was to be successful in the local market.. it will reflect good on my portfolio ... but but .... well.. blame myself for not being able to persevere further...
seriously ... to be person in charge of company really not easy .. to be a manager is also not easy ... alot of initiative, direction, motivation needs to be given and done. passion for work .. morale of work... maintaining loyal staffs is a very important thing that i realise.... here... staff turnovers is so so so high.... even my customers complain to me that i am the XX person that they liaise ... haha....
anyway ... i will start work in mid october ... bless me my friends...
i need to pen off for now ... it's gonna be 530~~~ wohoo!
Cheers!
It's me!!! i haven been blogging ... haha... well .. i rem the last time when i was acti vely blogging is when i was at NSEC Coy... Ever since i left, I haven been logging in and probably because i too tied up with my current job or perhaps .. life is just so boring that I do not have anything to update .. nothing interesting?
well.. i have left NSEC and now i am with this chinese coy... 7mths have past.. flown past ... however ... i decided to move again! haha ... well ... i have tende and my last day will be end month... I am so excited and perhaps very relieved ... well.. been hanging out for quite sometimes before i made such a decision...
work has been a good learning curve.. seriously.. i have learnt many stuffs and seriously going through a couple of process that is not within my jobscope. But i like to learn things and exposed to things which i do not know. I have always believe that to know ur stuffs well then; you are able to convince myself of knowing whats going on with your job.
then why am i leaving?!? well.. my initial plan was to stay here for a good 3-5 years period and then apply for a job at P & G ... but ... things doesnt seems to go my way ... i admit that my direct boss do give me a lot of room to learn and do stuffs.. but many times i wonder if it is because he simply do not care? or is he too occupied with exports that he hardly bother what is happening to the local markets... well.. i really dun know... initially i already told myself .. if my brand was to be successful in the local market.. it will reflect good on my portfolio ... but but .... well.. blame myself for not being able to persevere further...
seriously ... to be person in charge of company really not easy .. to be a manager is also not easy ... alot of initiative, direction, motivation needs to be given and done. passion for work .. morale of work... maintaining loyal staffs is a very important thing that i realise.... here... staff turnovers is so so so high.... even my customers complain to me that i am the XX person that they liaise ... haha....
anyway ... i will start work in mid october ... bless me my friends...
i need to pen off for now ... it's gonna be 530~~~ wohoo!
Cheers!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Confused
just as i thought i might have successfully pushed him out of mind, something crops up and leaves me hopes and thought lingering over him. damn...however, i still think if i do meet someone other than him and can really grow with that person, Xin probably can be pushed out of my mind. haha .. i dun think i am devoted in the sense .. haha .. but seriously, till date .. he holds a place in my heart still.
Messaging him beginning of the year was like something very random. i felt i need to sms him that and i did. however, i didnt continue my msg after his reply. i do not know wat i was seeking after then. Seriously, I dun know wat kind of message I was hoping to receive. I just felt that I needed him to know and I did. With the message, I told myself it was enough and no more stalking over his profile or watsoever. I really controlled well for the next 3 months which included his birthday month. I guess busy at work did me a good job of not stalking him. No FB allowed at work truly helped a lot.
But things happen. Unexpectedly, things happen around same timing. I really do not know why at such. Sometimes, I do feel Fate is playing with me. I secretly viewed his profile on my birthday week and discovered his trip to Europe plus a new car he bought. I cant tell the reasons for the trip or is the car really his. But I believe, he's leading a fruitful life and a real good one for him. It made me ponders quite a bit. The thought made me sad though. If we were still together, perhaps he wont get to go Europe or even get himself a car or a good career. I doubt I am able to motivate him as much as what the girl can do. I doubt he would be so successful now if we were still together. I really think so. And this saddens me. It made me think I am such a lousy partner I can be. I told my friends and said perhaps this ending is best for us and he has make the right choice. I do feel happy for him and sad for myself. hahaha ... sounds so 伟大? isnt it ? hahaha
This is not just the end. After I had that 伟大 thoughts, I told myself I need to move on and just concentrate on work first. Who knows... he messaged me on Whatsapp on FB. It caught me off guard.I didnt expect this. It was few days after my bdae. He didnt wished me at all. It was a simple "hi" and how you have been etc. And I blamed fate for playing a trick on me again cuz the network between us was very laggy. Messages were read and received minutes after sending. It got me very uptight and I kept sending the same messages twice worrying that he did not receive my messages at all. Our conversations stopped after awhile and I was disappointed and sad once again. Despite years after, despite a no-communication between us for years, despite a boyfriend in between this period; he still can make me so uptight. I think I am a fool really. But I would say again, I am not faithful or really so devoted. Perhaps if I get to know a new person, he will be replaced?
After this really short catchup, his friend call me days after. It was not a about him conversation. But it ended up with me confused once again. His friend said it was a waste of us not getting together or having to talk things out with each other. I really think we would not be able to get back. He just keep saying I should give it another shot. He knew I want him back and he said he would try to contact him and talk to him. I am confused about this suggestion. I do not know if I am happy about this. I am a changed person; he's a changed person. I have grown fatter? Not as pretty, not as tolerant etc. And our frequencies could have differ. We still should be together as he deems? I doubt so. The worst of all is he says Xin did mention that he would marry me if we our relationship did not have any hiccups then. Though I know that was a casual thought that Xin had that time; nevertheless I feel that I destroyed everything that was meant to have a good ending? It's me . The next foolish thing that I did so rashly was asking him if he's getting married even before he friend getting back to me. (not sure if his friend would do anything)
till now... I did not receive any reply. I do not know if this is just been selfish of him wanting to have a person so seriously in love with him at his side or he simply dun wish to hurt me. With him, I am always at a loss. Perhaps I just read too much into everything.
is it just so hard to break someone's heart? it is so hard to tell the truth?
I did tell myself to be prepared for the worse. just accept the fact one day he would settle down with someone. But when I posed the question so directly, there's no answer. It is pain again ; and once again i am seeking pain for nothing.
Jaz ... no more 童话 .. pls wake up .. there's no 童话 nor 灰姑娘 ...
Messaging him beginning of the year was like something very random. i felt i need to sms him that and i did. however, i didnt continue my msg after his reply. i do not know wat i was seeking after then. Seriously, I dun know wat kind of message I was hoping to receive. I just felt that I needed him to know and I did. With the message, I told myself it was enough and no more stalking over his profile or watsoever. I really controlled well for the next 3 months which included his birthday month. I guess busy at work did me a good job of not stalking him. No FB allowed at work truly helped a lot.
But things happen. Unexpectedly, things happen around same timing. I really do not know why at such. Sometimes, I do feel Fate is playing with me. I secretly viewed his profile on my birthday week and discovered his trip to Europe plus a new car he bought. I cant tell the reasons for the trip or is the car really his. But I believe, he's leading a fruitful life and a real good one for him. It made me ponders quite a bit. The thought made me sad though. If we were still together, perhaps he wont get to go Europe or even get himself a car or a good career. I doubt I am able to motivate him as much as what the girl can do. I doubt he would be so successful now if we were still together. I really think so. And this saddens me. It made me think I am such a lousy partner I can be. I told my friends and said perhaps this ending is best for us and he has make the right choice. I do feel happy for him and sad for myself. hahaha ... sounds so 伟大? isnt it ? hahaha
This is not just the end. After I had that 伟大 thoughts, I told myself I need to move on and just concentrate on work first. Who knows... he messaged me on Whatsapp on FB. It caught me off guard.I didnt expect this. It was few days after my bdae. He didnt wished me at all. It was a simple "hi" and how you have been etc. And I blamed fate for playing a trick on me again cuz the network between us was very laggy. Messages were read and received minutes after sending. It got me very uptight and I kept sending the same messages twice worrying that he did not receive my messages at all. Our conversations stopped after awhile and I was disappointed and sad once again. Despite years after, despite a no-communication between us for years, despite a boyfriend in between this period; he still can make me so uptight. I think I am a fool really. But I would say again, I am not faithful or really so devoted. Perhaps if I get to know a new person, he will be replaced?
After this really short catchup, his friend call me days after. It was not a about him conversation. But it ended up with me confused once again. His friend said it was a waste of us not getting together or having to talk things out with each other. I really think we would not be able to get back. He just keep saying I should give it another shot. He knew I want him back and he said he would try to contact him and talk to him. I am confused about this suggestion. I do not know if I am happy about this. I am a changed person; he's a changed person. I have grown fatter? Not as pretty, not as tolerant etc. And our frequencies could have differ. We still should be together as he deems? I doubt so. The worst of all is he says Xin did mention that he would marry me if we our relationship did not have any hiccups then. Though I know that was a casual thought that Xin had that time; nevertheless I feel that I destroyed everything that was meant to have a good ending? It's me . The next foolish thing that I did so rashly was asking him if he's getting married even before he friend getting back to me. (not sure if his friend would do anything)
till now... I did not receive any reply. I do not know if this is just been selfish of him wanting to have a person so seriously in love with him at his side or he simply dun wish to hurt me. With him, I am always at a loss. Perhaps I just read too much into everything.
is it just so hard to break someone's heart? it is so hard to tell the truth?
I did tell myself to be prepared for the worse. just accept the fact one day he would settle down with someone. But when I posed the question so directly, there's no answer. It is pain again ; and once again i am seeking pain for nothing.
Jaz ... no more 童话 .. pls wake up .. there's no 童话 nor 灰姑娘 ...
Thursday, March 25, 2010
love and hate waiting game
yes..it has been awhile .. a very long while ... though perhaps i wasnt too faithful during this period .. but his presence was never really forgotten ... there will never be a day that things would happen differently anymore.. everything is more or less finalized ... congrats ... a changed you ... new life ... she is .. indeed colours of your life ... i only painted your life blue then ... the truth that i found out ... i deserve the ending that i have today ...
its a love and hate waiting game....
its a love and hate waiting game....
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Nincompoops!
I am one myself i think.. i am reckless.. insensitive... i did alot of things that pissed people of. I feel unwanted.. I feel that I am hated.. I feel that I am very unliked ... very not suppose to live... almost committed suicide that day! but i am scare of e pain and no courage to just give up.. life's just too short .. oh well... but i feel i never live the life i want nor my way... very sad... i am feeling so moody today!
i sms xin once again... stupid.. dun know how many times i said i want to give up.. yes i will... i didnt reply his sms after .. in the first place... i just want him to know how i feel? well... he should just slap me and ignore me or get married.. it's better... or i should just get a replacement!
i sms xin once again... stupid.. dun know how many times i said i want to give up.. yes i will... i didnt reply his sms after .. in the first place... i just want him to know how i feel? well... he should just slap me and ignore me or get married.. it's better... or i should just get a replacement!
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