Awaking ?

Seriously I am not worried that I will be left on the shelf .. but I am surrounded by lots of pretty friends and all are single. Ok .. even if they may they not hold a really pretty face, they are pleasant looking and good girls… but they are single. As time goes by, hanging out as a group becomes a habit and the fear of being covered with webs starts crawling in.
But I am losing faith and trust. I also lose the confidence I used to have. I am straying myself away from guys… other than those guys that I know for years .. my social circle of guys has stop increasing. Yes… stop… I am surrounded by men… good caliber men… but they are … Married. This is not healthy and I can never and should never get myself involve with married men. Yes … I need to be reminded of that and exercise discipline.
But I am enjoying my life now though. I seriously think I spend more time with my family… and this is a good sign… I have this in one of my things to do list. Haha… But … I always appear a never-grow-up kid in my house. I am not … seriously I am old enough and mature enough to be careful outside. Well … I am never understood. That is sad … really hurts me so.
Back to the being single. Haa.. my friends have arrange activities more and keeping themselves busy. To expand social circle so as to meet new people, keep their minds off things, keeping fit. I guess I should do that too. I am not afraid … but I need to build up the confidence I use to have, need to keep fit and keep myself positive. Listening to too many sad real encounters, I am doubting every relationship around me. That is just so pessimistic. I need to be positive … so that I will be happy and wont feel so loss at times. I guess…
Maybe … I should really forget the past … not forget … never regret the past … or … not to let my past affect my future life?

梁静茹 - 找个人
词曲:刘沁 / 编曲。黄中岳
　　
找个人来爱我 我害怕孤独
　　这样枯坐到睡去
　　我感到很冷 感觉很累
　　找个人来爱我 让我永远坚强
　　我站在这里
　　停止奔跑 没有感觉
　　走在匆忙的城市 努力奋斗的日子
　　感觉自己并不属于这里
　　只属于你属于彼此
　　我要彻底的感受 你是真的在这里
　　得到一切如果失去你
　　我感觉到 只有脆弱
　　找个人来爱我

No Title

been so long since i last blog ... wonder who will be waiting to read my blog.. haha

anyway .. time has gone by so fast. it's already july! and i am still stuck here in my jap company .. still single .. still paying for alot of things.. still not much savings ... still busy at work, at home and everything....

do i lack of time management?

alot of things has been running through my mind .. and i do not know if i wanna blog it out... well...

i need my motivation in alot of things. i wonder what can i do. argh. terrible.

hmm...so wat has happen since i last blog...

birthday celebrations. my holiday to my hometown. bringing my friend around singapore. shelving my japan course again. oh well...

and yes.. i remove xiaoxin from my facebook! lol. it was a tough thing to me. seriously. i accidentally found out that he and his gf went holiday last year. got me kinda upset once again. seriously it doesnt matter but at times just feel sad why the person beside him is not me.. oh well... looking back... i seriously do not know how to handle my relationship. and i guess i did not try to help in our relationship. no experience at all. i just simply give in alot and turn deaf and blind to alot of things. in life... this is not going to be of help. neverthless. i happy now i hope. i dun need another 6 years to learn that he is over and out of my life.

now... just need to read newspapers more often .. have a change of environment again.

and .. i am starting to like to slack at home.. i love to be at home at alot of times.. hehe

i wanna save~~ i wanna go somewhere~~~ haha ... i wanna be clear of troubles... please... do not let my past haunt me again and again!