~30th May 2011 Blog Entry~

what a boring title... haha

Falls in love easily and hurts too much

I deemed myself as someone who fits this phrase totally. my friends say I fall in love too easily with anyone but I guess the chemistry is important. Is it just me feeling lonely or is it just the worries of being left on the shelf as I see many of my friends getting married? Frankly, not all married couples are happy from what I see and perhaps being alone is really much happier. However, I really love the thought of having my own family and with my own kids. Though upbringing is really very important and standard of living in Singapore has gone too high and I do not wish to have kids and make them suffer. Aside from the thoughts of having family of my own, I really want to share my life with my partner just like fairytale .. however happily ever after seldom exists. Though I knew that many a times, yet many times I just love to hurt myself when I falls in love too easily. And many times when I am thinking of relationship, Xin will appear. I will ask is that really love or because I cant find somebody? There is no exact answer and I will feel moody after awhile. This is stupid.

“Self-inflicted misery smirks under its crown of thorns.” I should have known better.

Time flies with nothing much accomplished

6 months have gone in a blink and nothing much has been achieved.

I am in caught in the stupid life cycle of born > study > work > work > and work. I think that’s really disappointing and I am always in this tiny dot here. Argh. But I got no one to blame other than myself to blame. I choose this myself. My greatest wish … get over and done with my this year and plan some travelling next year. Of today, I have another 6 more months to go. Meanwhile, get myself busy still. Work on my wish, do some exercises, do more reading to widen my tiny horizons and boost my career.

Nevertheless, I am happy here at my point of life now. Occasional blows wont get me upset for too long. That’s pretty good enough for now. To be simple and naïve is good at times .. I thought I was smart… smart for the wrong reasons? But I need to learn to protect myself. Really. Too trusting has always cause me deal of trouble. I need to learn from it.