Time is Not enough ..

i was walking around the library one day and realise that there is really so much readings to do. I was not a avid reader when i was in schools. I do read, mostly fashion magazines and some romance novels. but i have not read enough, and now at an age of 27, i am still reading romance novels. I find myself wasting my time away. I should expand my general knowledge instead of induling in some unrealistic love, isn't it ? There is so many things i can read .. Cities, fashion, crafts, self enhancement etc.. gosh .. then i went to a games shop, there are again so many interestings games around ... god .. i have been wasting my years of living.

and inside me, i have decided to sleep less, make more use of the time around. Time is neva enough. I aim to sleep not less than 6 hours a day but still feelin fresh for activities after. cuz i am always feelin tired and sickly. i guess i need to workout as well. Well, looking at myself now, i hope i will be able to achieve some things soon.

I guess the problem with me is, talk no action. So hereby i decide to write down my goals? and hopefully, i be able to achieve them. Friends .. remind me and motivate me ok? hehe =)

Goals in life
1. Career/Entrepreneur
2. Savings
3. Attain a 3rd language
4. Take up graphic courses
5. Maintain a good health and body
6. Travel

The above are general goals which I have always wanted. Then again, it's like talk air again. So i will amend abit from my goals. hee =)
1. I have until Sep to search for a new career, if not i will stay put till Sept. Then i will think until end of the year whether do i want to take over my dad's related business. (target: establish fixed career goal )
2. Set aside $400 every month. Actually, I should save $600 a month but know my spending habits, i keep it to $400 first, once if i have the habit of saving, i shall increase. Start fix saving in June. I want to pay off all my incur debts and installments first. 2 months to settle everything. Jiayou!
3. I have always been interested in Japanese. Thus, I hope i can start within this yr prob June as well.
4. Graphic course. It's always my interest and love for creative stuffs. However, looking at myself, i guess this have to be shelved. Prob 3-5 yrs time. Target 2010. LOL
5. I will be consuming my uncle's recommended multi-vitamins. Secondly, I hope to maintain a gd workout schedule, such as swimming once a week and jogging 3 times a week. For now, I wanna fix a jogging session once a week starting May. Then 2 times a week in June. Please . I need motivation. LOL
6. Travel. If i successfully be able to save, I hope i can travel this yr. Especially in June or July period. I hope to be able to travel overseas at least once every 2 years. For a start, I hope i can go taiwan. I need money to go. Probably 2k. haha . from now to end of the yr is 8 mths. If i able to save $600 a month, I will go in Dec. I hope so!

Well, looking at this.. I guess i need to be very determined. Probably even to print this out to remind me...haha .. Friends ... Family .. Wish me luck!

One YeaR AnniVerSaRy

time flies .. and indeed ... it's one year for me ... one year here for me ... well, today's my one year with my current japanese company... gosh ...

i came in with my heart that i was cheated by my agent who brought me in .. and i really couldn't stand the environment here ... and the workload ... it was very quiet to me and i am really not used to it ... no music!! how can i work without music .. but actually, in fact alot of companies do not allow music, so it's not just this company. Next it's the work.. i got no satisfaction, no goal and no responsibility and it really bores me alot ... i like to be busy and i always think i am a workholic and i am ambitious? .... and .. after a three months bond here, i really look for quite a number of jobs but all neva come too well for me..and afterawhile, i stop because i would want to get the "attractive" bonus ... and ... all these ... i been here for a year ... lol

Looking right at my table now, you can see from the picture.. i am rather comfy with my current working environment and also a sentimental person? alot of nice toys and alot of sentimental stuffs from my closed ones are put all around ... and that is my current workplace .. it is .. no kidding ....

hmm....however, i am still on the lookout for a job that i desires .. actually, i do not know wat i really want .. but ... i hope to get something similar as my first job ... would i ? or start my own biz ? i like the second idea more....

Bless me ..

SiCkLy Me ..

been to the doc .. finish the medicine, but still ... since sat, been sneezing away .. and i was predicting the sickness sydrome .. thus i kept gulping water and took panadol ... but .. it didn't help .. and i was down with cold ( doc diagnose) ... i had a bad throat, suffered throat infection and it was so bad that i feel pain in my ear and head .... this is so bad ... so bad till i really seems to drag myself in doing anything .. had 2 days rest at home which seems not enough ... and back to work, i have full access to internet and start blogging again .. nothing special has happen to me ... no entertainment also ... pretty boring .. but i looking forward to next week! a spa session with my 2 two angels ... plus ... April 26th .. cuz i am watching Mayday concert with my 2 buddies again! hehe ... that makes me smile .. at least ...

BlooDy Morning

it's a bloody morning for me .. kinda bad start for the day ...

early in the morning, i bathed .. and stupidly ... i cut my left thumb ... you know wat .. i cut my thumb because i tried to squeeze the last bits of conditioner out from the stupid tube ... and .. it ACTUALLY cut my thumb ... a one cm cut on my left thumb just keep bleeding ...

and .. this is not the end ... cuz .. after ... i brushed my teeth ... perhaps .. i was still sleepy then ... i brushed too hard and my gums started bleeding ... argh ...

and now ... in my office ... within minutes of reaching the office, i cut my right knee as i knock my knee against the hard surface of my desk ....

this is just a bloody morning for me .. and i just can't resist not blogging over this bloody scene ....

CrossRoads~~Always~~

I had a long weekend last week .. Wasn't at home since last Wed .. But i did not apply any leave, i was on urgent leave again! well..my dad landed in hospital. He had a fall and it actually hurt his own injury. He had diffculty in walking and I was in hospital till quite late on Tues night. Haiz .. and we were at the Emergency section ok? 6-7 hours of waiting which is termed as Emergency treatment.. argh .. Thank goodness, it was not that serious but he need to go back doc for review first week of April. He refused to take operation or been hospitalised, guess he's worried abt his work.. And..somehow .. i know my dad's getting on his years but somehow, tis incident just triggered me to rethink about my future again ...

Shld I help w his biz? hmm...i not engineering inclinced..but seriously if i wanted to take on tis, tis is not a necessity cuz i would do up w oher sects of biz .. but shld i ? I know i shld help my dad, i shld relieve his burden but .. many concerns .. Our different views .. my stubborness and my dumbness .. plus engaging my sis or my cousins to help tis .. Is this a gd idea? i guess .. i need to think .. realli think .. my dad's biz no big biz like company but ... dun know how to explain but .. doin biz has always been my dream .. do i have wat it takes to follow in his footsteps? argh ... 27 tis yr .. loss .. crossroads .. now and then ... argh ..

BuSy BuSy BuSy ... BluSh Blush Blush

it has been quite awhile since i last blogged.. as wat my title says, i have been busy ... 24hrs a day, 7 days a week seems not enough for me .. perhaps i have poor time management? but neverthless, i got too many too many committments which i can never understand too ....

to summarise, my time is just been spend on watching movie, doing OT, playing mahjong and all? haha... I have watched the Leap Years think Last Friday with my good friends ... It was good meetup cuz time was spent so usefully .. haa .. before the movie, we went to Minds Cafe to kill time, to settle our meal and to strength my brain by playing Master Mind.. It is a game which i haven been playing for so long, and it really can kill my brain as i feel that i behaving more senile each day .. argh ...

perhaps it's just my work... been busy with my work ... but wat am i doing exactly ? well ... i am a project secretary .. as the title says .. secretary .. bescially, i am a nanny to my engineers ... photocopying documents, tracking of the status, maintaining the register, keep them up to date ... plus occassionally of serving coffee... how active can my brain be .. doing these kind of stuffs... well... been hunting for job .. perhaps i am lazy .. or perhaps, i getting older ... doing such job is actually much soughted by alot of people .. but not me ... well ... cuz my dream is still to have my own biz .. earning a miserable 2k pay .. plus my uncountable spendings on drinks, shopping, gifts etc .. how can i fulfil my dream ... i really dun know ....

oh yes...i learn how to play mahjong ... the japanese style one last thurs ... my engineer ask me to follow them to the japanese association to play...the rules are rather different and the points system etc ... but ... it is rather interesting afterall... and .. my engineers are really treatin me well... they bring me to eat, now play mahjong and they also promise me gifts from Japan ... haiz... they are getting nicer to me each day and the thought of me always wanting to leave is making me in a dilemna ... oh well... but neverthless ... prospects is still inportant ...my 2 good friends are in dilemna too... in choosing jobs ... i was too ... last mth .... guess choosing a right one is important .. and now .. my white angel who just took up a new job is not happy with her job .. i just hope she is happy soon ...

oh well... when can my life be smoother ... i hope soon ... i am tired..

haa...oh yes .. i almost forgotten ... i have been blushing very often nowadays.. and i dun know why ... good blood circulation ? i been blushing fast each day whenever these guys come and talk to me ... lol ... it's really red .. and i am not lying cuz my colleague beside me see it often ... argh .... is it good or bad? lol ...

MoVie MarathoN

looks like my main expenditures for this season is on movies .. been watching quite a couple of movies within these few months and i have planned a few more shows to watch .. and ... the crying season seems to be here too ... cuz the movies can move me to tears... for instant, PS I Love You, a show which i highly recommended, touched my hearts and my tears just flows when i see the letters been mailed to Holly (Hillary Duff) each season.. Gerry (Gerard Butler), the husband loves her to the point that he prepares these touching letters to aid his wife in moving on after his death .. well ... the movie is really a success in making the audience cry with the show.. though some commented e show was rather slow pace and boring.. But neverthless, it's sweet..

Since Dec last yr, I have watched Warlords featuring my All-time idoL --- Takeshi Kaneshiro Anikin Jin Cheng Wu!! Plus the very "man" Andy Lau and Jet Li. Nice war show but rather draggy.. hee .. I have watched the Jumper, half-watch Kungfu Dunk *due to e fact, rush to hospital during e show*, PS I Love you and on Monday Death Note: L change the World (kinda disappointed..it's not as good as wat i hoped). wohoo ... and ... I planned to watch The Leap Years this coming Friday with my best buddies .. My colleague recommended me this show and to bring in extra packets of tissue as this show can move people to tears again ... argh .. Romance .. Romance ... haa ... when's our Sweet and LAsting Romance? =p

So who's going to watch more movies with me and what shows are nice? hehe ..

alcohoLic CrY Baby

it has been quite awhiLe since I spend my Fridays in Singapore. Ever Since my dad bought the house in msia, i have been in and out of msia. So my usual weekends are spent playing Mahjong, eating and Sleeping there. LOL. However, as usual i went back to msia on sat. Played my mahjong bought a "baju kurong" for my friend's wedding. She's a Malay and I have always wanted to ethic clothes so i decide to buy one tis time round and wear it during her wedding or on racial harmony day.. hehe .. I also planned to buy the Indian sari... hehe ..

Neverthless, I quite enjoy my Friday night w my colleagues eating and drinking. Kinda disappointed at e fact that my idol didn't join us. It was a session initiated by e jap engineer which didn't include him.. oh well .. but i still enjoy the food and drinks. the yakitori was very nice and ex .. plus .. becoming an avivd drinker .. sakae, tiger, whisky and red wine ...

then comes sat ... went back msia ... however late sat midnight, had a long chat w mr wee and i was really crying .. stories abt my past and present .. i know that i shld forget abt it and grow w the bad memories, but it's neva easy .. well...if only ....

hereby ... i thanx for mr wee w me .. and thanx to my family and friends around me who have been scolding me and guiding me .. haa ... all of you .. are my part of my life ... and i appreciate it... =)

AcTive BloGger --- the Reason to EscapiSm

been looking for applications to add to my blog such as music, link, tracker etc.. neva i know i can be so free and active in blogging.. oops .. guess, it's one of the many ways that people do to keep themselves or people around them to be aware of wats happening. or like me, a way for escapism?

was on the phone with wee yesterday night and kept crying..the tots of my future partner if there is saddens me .. the fact that i am no good for anyone... haiz .. just cry like an open tap ... argh ...

Back to the Gd Old days..

feeling really sleepy in the morning as usual.. haa.. but today's Kel's bdae. So i sms him wishing him a gd bdae, but it was kinda disappointing when he ret the sms by askin who am i since he lost his mobile. alot of people nowadays been using this excuse or is it not ? i find it qute sad cuz feels like been forgotten.. haa...just me i guess ..

e day just goes on like that as usual, slacking .. Friendster or facebook..but today decide to go back blogging.. it has really been awhile since i last blogged.. looking back, my blog entries were rather sad and seems like it was a kind of me bearing my sorrows or tryin to improve my english..haha For now, i hope my blog would be more interesting and more lively. =) of course plus beautiful memories.

i was chatting w Kel for the second half of the day.. haa .. i have known kel in 2005 and it has been a long time since i see him or even talk to him.. guess all of us are busy but he is still charmin to me..haa.. and i dun know if he knows that. but i realise, i didn't know him that well..but he's a sweet guy and i tink he's e only one after my school days that i started secretly admiring again.haha..oh well .. crushes i guess.. =p and we chatted for quite a bit and i dun even dare to suggest celebratin his bdae w him.. Winz was surprise that i dun dare to ask him out..haha.. in the past, maybe .. now .. i dun know.. no confidence and i look like shit also .. after much chatting, finally i volunteer to celebrate w him..but..he was booked just minutes after.. was it reeallll or just a way or rejectin me .. i dun know .. but neverthless .. he make my heart beat kinda faster when i chatted to him then ... haha .. oh well ..

today ended w him over in my mind .. and god knows when i will meet e right guy .. oh well ... good things are worth waiting .. haha .. to all those like me who are not attached .. we will meet the right one ... and we would live happily ever after .. =)

PS: PS I Love You is a very touching, sweet show.. Romance with comedy..check it out ...

ReBoRn?!?

it's has been so long since i started blogging in my tis historical place...haha..

well, since it's historical, i shouldn't bring our issues up with unhappy memories or watsoever. I am leading a better life now. *i hope* hoping not to be as dramatic as it used to be.. =)

but .. it is good to learn from the past also .. one can learn to be stronger eh ? =)

Wish Me Luck .. My Family, My Friends .. those who loves me for who i am ..

TiRed~~

Hi people..It has been a very long time since the last time i wrote my blog. Well, it may be my last time continuing to do this thingy. I may stop...who knows. I am quite tired of myself. I have really lost control in myself. My heart has overule my mind at times.. Seriously, I know I am such a person...Well ... Cuz Heart is Blind..they are hidden in the bodies... Neva expose to the real world?

Haiz... I am tired liao... Really ... At work , facing friends , facing colleagues , facing family or even facing the person that is always on my mind; i am tired of not being able to be myself ... I know i am very emotionally unstable ... well ... i am a sore loser in relationship ... what to do ...

GettiNg Older

gosh....i am getting older...this year birthday really different from last year..a few of my friends made their efforts to celebrate with me. i am really touched...i thought this year would be sad like last year..but i neva expect this year to be differenr...plus my colleagues..they really make me so happy . :)

one of the things that i am really happy was e watch i received from my parents...they bought me the watch that i was eyeing for 4 yrs... i was so happy that i cried... well...i was trying to save up to buy it but they bought it..so of course...i am extremely happy...well...parents after all :)

my birthday celebrations spread over 2 weeks... haha...because my friends usually dunno each other, i have to spread my time with them..and becuz of this, i feel that i am so popular..haha...no la...not popular..cuz my skin rather thick...i want people to celebrate with me.. well...actually i dun really like to celebrate birthdays..just an indication of getting older and a signal taht i am facing more troubles as i get older...

haiz~~getting older...xin....you owe me a present..not one bt two...

my wishes..simple...just wanna my whole family to be free from problems...and...i can really be in my fairytale..to be with the one i really love...would it be you, xin? haa.... i dunno...actually i dunno if i wanna be with you....i am totally lost.....

the LighT of my Life?

hi everyone..it has been really awhile since e last time i write up by blog.it has been busy for me. tied up at work.getting older by the second and becoming tired easily by the minute.wats happening?

i am lost. lost in my own world. seriously. i am behaving more zombie-like by the day. i quite enjoy my work cuz my job is flexible. the nature of my job is an area which is totally unfamiliar to me, but i am quite glad that i do learn new things everyday. i am glad i have good company at work though there are alot of gossipers, backstabbers, or even nonsensical people. well,its inevitable, these minority of people exists in almost every work place. well, these people better not offend me though :P

well....i am feeling really restless every single day. wats happening? perhaps....my waiting game has been too long til i am behaving like that? have i lost the interest in the waiting game? or ... i am finally going to face music ? i dunno...can anione please brighten up my life? gosh.....

LoVe is ....

LoVe is sweet, yet bitter at times. Period of sweet and bitterness depends on individuals...

Everyone loves the sweetness right?

But do everyone love his or her partner? or they simply looking for company in life?

After being single for quite a period, plus making mistakes here and there. Hearing and looking at happy and unhappy relationships here and there, i do feel i dun need love. I love to be adored by alot of people. This kinda love dun have to come from bf, they can come from anione. So i guess...probably, i dun need ani bf. I just wanna have fun and being "teng" by the many people around me.

Feelings of confusion again...Thats me...Troubled always...

SicKly DivA

i am sick...seriously sick...must be the swim..cuz i swam in the rain..oh well, plus past few days of not enuff sleep, my body cannot take it and broke down..haha..oh well...must really drink lots of water..

went to my friend's wedding on sat..oh well..another friend getting married..cool...congrats...

just wonder when it will be mine?
well....really no hope in getting married cuz i think xin and me not meant to be together. well, we are meant to go thru tough paths but in the end, i guess we both know that our lives are meant to cross only...the end of the road is not the same. right?

perhaps...well...i won't give up...unless, the kind of love has died in me...

Horoscope Day~~~

Taurus is an earth sign ruled by Venus. Taurus represents art, beauty in all its forms, and strength (not only physical). Taureans are realistic, security loving (both on the material and psychological level) and they like routines, also in their love relationship. In order to obtain this kind of security, they use all of their qualities: resistance, quietness, patience and practical intelligence. They seldom lose control, but when they do get angry they can be violent. This is the reason why it is necessary for them to find the right partner. Taureans live and love in a complete manner, they are constant, and never vain.

Oh well....how true this is about me? i dunno..haha.....my xin is a pisces....and this is how they analyses my relationship with pisces people...oh well.....

TAURUS AND PISCES
Pisces may not altogether understand Taurus's materialistic approach to life. But the dependability of Taurus supplies the anchor Pisces needs to keep from drifting away into a private sea of fantasy. Hard-working Taurus sets a good example for lazy Pisces. Also, Taurus's practical, easygoing nature helps Pisces through its frequent changes of mood. In love, Taurus is devoted and Pisces is adoring. Though Pisces can be a little fey for Taurus, they're well suited sexually. Taurus is passionate, Pisces is sensual, and what's wrong with that?

New YeaR

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

Cool, it's the new year season. Everyone's visiting? i have just done my visiting in malaysia, so here i am back in singapore. Well, who wants me to their homes for the new year ? let me know k? haha

looks like the new year has some surprises for me. but yet to know. i actually thought of ending my complicated relationship with xin. cuz waiting game is really a torture. my close friend maybe leaving for hk, i told xin. he told me, it's ok... he'll be able to keep be company when he comes back. What's the meaning of this? haiz~~i think too much. gosh... sometimesi just do...

well, right now..before he does what he promises me, i guess, i better concentrate on earning big bucks for the near future. i need to achieve my dream of owning my shop!!! hee :) wish me luck~~~

oh valentine~~~

hey..it's been very long since i last write my blog....been busy....lazing...haa

aniwae, i met up my gf who came back from aus yesterday. she's in love...oh mine...and i din know until yesterday..hee..so good at hiding...and my colleague called me yesterday night to tell me how she misses her husband cuz her husband is at usa..oh well..long distance relationship is really not easy to maintain...oh well....what abt me? where's my valentine?

hmm...dreamt of xin last night..well, it's almost a yr...oh well...really long neva been in love..haha...do i need it ? i dunno...i thought i am a faithful, loyal, sentimental gal..yes..indeed i am...but i am tired of the waiting game...haiz~~

Cry Baby

yesterday was a horrible day for me... i do not know why...but i just feel very horrible inside...i feeling like ending my life...it is so horrible...well...i am like living for people..leading a life for people...

but what kind of life i want? ... do i know?

maybe it's me...just myself...i am just simply like to give myself too much pressure...hey, ya just a human being ok? ya not saint ok ? dun try to be saint...no one appreciates...sometimes, i always said these to myself..i feel myself doing too much for others...really kinda silly...do i deserve all these? haiz~~ i am really stressed up with life...

i am always so bubbly to others...but..really..i haven been really happy for a long long time...haiz~~
well, nvm....lucky i cried alot last night...really cried so much til my eyes were so swollen..but the crying thing really make me so much better....