Emotional Ah Jaz

8th August was a eventful day? I was walking alone in the malls and I think I saw someone that I used to know. If I am not wrong, we walked past each other without acknowledging each other's presence. I should be right that I didnt see the wrong person. Well, it made me kinda sad as we used to be friends? I thought we were close friends as well.. and we had stop contacting for whatever reasons that I cant really remember. But I knew I was quite pissed over some incidents; however for me, it's sad to lose a friendship like that. 

And just I thought this saddens me, I saw another one that saddens me even more. I was dining with my school friends and was chatting away. And just like in the tv shows, i couldnt talk properly as I see him walking into the same restaurant and right in front of me into the private room. i was stunned until i couldnt speak. It has been years since I last seen him. very much the same. well.. i was pondering whether to msg him and I did. And true enough, I didnt got the wrong person and we were in the same place. like the saying " so close yet so far". 

well.. i felt so emotional over this. i am not sure why it is so but i guess the fact that he has always been in my heart says alot of things. i love my boyfriend but for him it's a feeling that i cant describe. 

i was pretty curious over hows he is doing now but we didnt have the chance to chat face to face. anyway, like i say before, i knew he's doing quite well now and i am really glad that he is. i used to think back, why am i not the lady beside him when he is feeling so happy and successful now, i was sad. we have went through a rough patch and we couldnt be together anymore kinda saddens me. perhaps it's just not meant to be in the first place. nevertheless... everyone has his and her life to go on and choices in life. we have made our choice then. sincerely, i wish him all the best still. 

after a night of being emotional, my boy listens and talks. he's pretty understanding and i am really blissed. 

it has been awhile since i blogged. perhaps it's time to shift my blog?  

~现在我很幸福~

like what the title says.. it says how i felt everyday since i know him and the decision to be with him. 

hope everyday will be as what he promise.. i just wanna be happy and smile :) 

i am blissed..

Platonic Friendship

The Definition ..... 

1) A very close male friend that a woman has. Their relationship is strictly "just friends" and usually never involves anything sexual. Men do not have platonic friends, just simply women they haven't fucked yet. 

Somewhere along the way, John made a wrong turn and slipped into the friends zone by not making a sexual move on Cindy. 

Joe: "Do you know what a platonic friend is to a woman?" Max: "No" Joe: "A dick in a glass case. In case of an emergency, BREAK GLASS" 

2) A very very very close friend of the opposite sex. A woman is a man's platonic friend if she's his best friend (or a very close friend of his), but nothing more. And yes, contrary to what's been said earlier, men CAN have platonic friends, just like women. 

person1: Ashley and Brandon are so close to each other, they spend all of their time together. I'm sure they're dating! 

Person2: Not necessarily, i asked Ashley yesterday and she told me that there was nothing between them, they're just platonic friends. 

3.sometimes when a man wants a women yet he knows she is grossed out/creeped out/not attracted to him he will attempt to get close to her claiming to be merely a "platonic friend". When a women wants to be gentle to a man and not go out with him she may use a phrase similar to " I just want to be a platonic friend" 

Chris wanted Kristen but knew he could never have her so he claimed he just wanted to be a platonic friend  Jodie Foster turned down John Hinckley by saying she just wanted to be his platonic friend. ------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well.. I do have platonic friendship with some people around. However, is it really possible with everyone? Or does he feel the same? This is making me miserable though I need to set my records straight again. Just the scandals are enough to make me feel unwell.. Still needing to look strong and nothing? thats so cool! 

argh.. 

"Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost. " 

great ... seriously ... I deserve more seriously...

Troubled

i am seriously very troubled by the incidents haunting me..
well .. i am at a loss...
we are so close yet so far...
hate this kind of feeling ...

thoughts ...

~~黄小琥 不只是朋友~~


你身边的女人总是美丽
你追逐的爱情总是游戏
在你的眼里
我是你可以对饮言欢的朋友
你从不吝啬催促我分享你的快乐
你开心的时候总是挥霍
你失意的片刻总是沉默
在你的眼里
我是你可以依靠倾吐的朋友
你从不忘记提醒我分担你的寂寞
你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友
还想有那么一点点温柔的娇纵
你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友
还想有那么一点点自私的占有

你开心的时候总是挥霍
你失意的片刻总是沉默
在你的眼里
我是你可以依靠倾吐的朋友
你从不忘记提醒我分担你的寂寞
你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友
还想有那么一点点温柔的娇纵
你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友
还想有那么一点点自私的占有

想做你不变的恋人
想做你一世的牵挂
想做你不只是朋友
喔....喔....
你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友
还想有那么一点点温柔的娇纵
你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友
还想有那么一点点自私的占有
你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友
还想有那么一点点温柔的娇纵
你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友
还想有那么一点点自私的占有

Random

october was a super tough month for me. suffocating to the max. glad it's over but the problem's still there... but i really hope my problem will be resolve one day and i would not be haunted by such things again!

40 days left for 2011. time really passes by so quickly ever since i left school. it passes by so much so until my life is so routine until i really quite loss about the kind of life i am leading.

i realize that my mood fluctuates easily. Every month, there will be a period of super peh chekness coming from me. I lose my patience, temper so easily until i think i am nuts. serious.

anyway, A* came to Singapore again last month. nothing much of his agenda probably he misses Asia too much. he's like more excited to see me this time and more warmth. me instead wasn't that excited then. been too busy with events at work plus my free lance. but i guess i grew tired of the distance thingy and plus i dont like a not clear situation thus became tired. And.. probably he's coming back to SG in Jan again. hmm... i dont know what he want and i guess i probably should not think too much about things. need to learn not to be serious over alot of things. but it's not easy. probably been hurt too much and now i think i cant joke much about things.

work frustrations happen almost everyday! seriously. it's getting very bad. and i have been bitching with J* alot her and others. we are just too gam and if it's not for her, i think i would have left. She has the same sentiments. i am so likeable~~ haha well.. it's really difficult to find a perfect job, earn enough, nice colleagues, good opportunities, good location. i have always tell myself i do not have the luck of getting something that i like but i do get something's pretty good for me. am i asking too much?

nevertheless.. hope my free lance is good for me and i can achieve what i want in life. my mentor's pretty nice and i think he's pretty nice. he can be very irritating but he's a smart guy and pretty serious. well. i think i am quite blessed to have people around me who actually are quite nice to me. i am grateful for all these and i believe more good would come.

i need to get over all the unhappy things that has been haunting me for very long or hoping miracles would happen. things that deserve to change would be miracles. things that deserve to be forgotten shall be gladly washed away.

i shall end my post with these words written in front of my pc reminding me to be hang on~

"Whatever with the past has gone. The best is always yet to come. "

i hope my best will come soon.  

Feeling Smurfy...

Caught the movie smurfs and really enjoy the show.. And pick up the slang adding smurf in sentences cuz this word can mean alot of things. So in fact, I don't need to say how I really feel. Sounds stupid? But I think quite cute and sometimes as I am so complex.. Maybe I do not know the best word to describe how I feel... I feeling Smurfy... Recently been very stress at work.. Alot of deadlines to meet.. My work is really making me physically and mentally bushed out... So much so until I really can collapse.. :( Apart from work.. I really feel very moody... I guess I really have personality problem.. I can't cope and I think it's very bad.. Though I love myself and how I think, how I behAve, how I feel about things.. I think I am really terrible. I know I need to be positive and I think I did change but I am too emotional.. I am so complex and confuse that I can just break down and cry. I guess I am tired.. No matter how strong and how independent, how simple I can be.. I just feel upset at times.. I don't feel lonely.. But I am really alone.. That's it.. I dunno wtf this is abt.. Damn... And xin.. Why are you appearing so frequently in my dreams recently? Wtf.. Haiz.. I think I quarrel with my motivation. And I am pretty affected.. Ok.. That's it.. Gd.. Very gd... Night..